I'm not gonna lie, and I don't mean to be harsh so don't hate me, please, but it'd be better to read if you separated the dialogue into their own paragraphs. This story is mostly dialogue so I can see how annoying that'd get but it'd be so much better if it were like this:
"Shit, we should go."
"Where?"
See? It'd be easier to read. I did enjoy the story line and the layout is cute. There were a few spelling mistakes that I caught.
Overall, it was good but for next time, trying to break apart the dialogue
"Shit, we should go."
"Where?"
See? It'd be easier to read. I did enjoy the story line and the layout is cute. There were a few spelling mistakes that I caught.
Overall, it was good but for next time, trying to break apart the dialogue