Please Don't Go - Comments

This was definitely not "iffy." It almost made me cry. It tugged and pulled at my heart. It was so beautiful.

I've never really liked Dean, but you made me love him. I could feel what your character felt every line. I was so into it, the ending truly shocked me. It broke my heart in two.

I loved the description of the kiss and the sex, how she said she was whole. That was genius.

Overall, I'm seriously glad you decided to comment swap because otherwise, I might not have found this gem. I'm subscribing so I can read it later.

Favorite line: Let this be a dream then. A wonderful dream that I didn't ever want to end.

Oh! Wow. Hey- I've written something a lot similar to this except mine was titled Obliviate and it was a Harry/OC. Also this was written way better than mine lol This had my eyes tearing up in the end :'(

This was just... wow. Stunning, absolutely stunning. I love your layout (I liked the first one a lot better, but this new one is nice, too!) and the storyline is magnificent.
Have I mentioned that I loved that your main character wasn't magical. For some reason that just really made the story so much better. And the way you described things, so delicate at some points, so strong and forceful at others. Your style of writing really matched and complimented the tone of the story. It was beautiful to read, and the ending was so incredibly sad. I loved it. Excellent job. :)

When I went to your page to find it, I seen it was something to do with a Quidditch player. It was instantly interesting.

I was hoping for some type of summary, but there was none. Which was okay. The quote is quite interesting, and seem like a clue to the story.

The layout was really, and I mean really, nice. I would love if that cute layout was for one of my stories.

Now I loved the way you described things. It seemed delicate at times, intense to me at others. That could be just me though. It didn't seem like it was going to be a sex chapter, but that is all the better I suppose. I also like how it wasn't about Harry or Draco. That was a change here on mibba. There were no mistakes that I spotted, so keep it up!

Xxoo.

I was NOT expecting a sex scene. I thought this girl was going to watch him go and wallow in her self-pity, etc. But alas, you surprised me! And then you surprised me again with the obliviate and such. So sad. She won't even have the memory of them together now. D;

Only, maybe you should have written it in present tense or in third person because, I don't know, it just seems weird that she doesn't remember, but she tells her story in the past tense. I DON'T KNOW.

I just love reading things about non-main characters. This was great. (:

OH NO WHY?!

This was wonderful. It was so good. Honestly, I expected it all to be sad when I started reading it. I thought he would leave without saying anything to her that meant anything. That is really how any other author would have done it.

But you took it some totally different ways and surprised me. I did not expect him to jump her like that -- lovely description, by the way! -- and then how he erased her memory in the end.

I don't totally understand why but honestly, I don't want to and that's how the story is supposed to be.

That was amazing.

The layout is really, really pretty. I feel like a total freak for noticing but I like how the layout color matches her toe nail polish.<33 I also like the way you opened the story with a short, short quote. It set a feeling, but not too much groundwork and it lets my imagination roam, oh yes. <3 I have a feeling in my bones that says this will be grrrreat, hehe. c: <3

I'm very upset. <3 He has to come back, he just has to. <3 I mean she loves him so much. He can't just leave her with only shadow touches and faint memory to warn her heart. See, at this point now, I've completely left your story's reality and am now in my own, totally reeking some imagination havoc, aha. He comes back.<3 He just has to. D; I'm very, very annoyed with this man. First, he's leaving. Second, he confesses those feelings now of all times. I mean jesus. Not cool sir. Not cool at all, nu-uh. </3 She deserves betta. :c <3

I really, really enjoyed reading this. <3 Your grammar was great, there was a definte pattern/rythm, and I could seriously feel all the emotions running through this like colors off of a rainbow. It was gorgeous. I love your way with detail and especially your descriptions. It's short and sweet - just perfect to convey your point. <3c:

There was a look in those brown eyes, a look that brought to life visions of death, destruction and pain.

This line is both beautiful and smarticle. <3 I adore stories that exploit women's intuition, you know? It's like, we just know when something's wrong.
we're not phsycic, but we can tell about the shift in everything. It's like an ocean, aha. C: <3 /not making any sense, so moving on. C:

I mentioned this earlier, but another thing I really, really liked about this piece besides how realistic it was, was the pattern. I liked how you interwove italicized words as stray thoughts that was her keeping herself "in check". It was a nice touch and real kept me graviating towards the story and her heart's set.

This is a brilliant piece that you should be proud of dolly. <3C:
You're an amazing writer, yes ma'am <3

I don't like the layout for some reason. It's just all a bit plain for me but it does give the story a mood that's nice and calm. Personal preference there. Oopsies.

I like the quote-ish thing at the very beginning of the description. It's very dark and it lures me in, that's for sure.

Uhgawd. Harry Potter contest? So not my cup of tea. D:

(Gotta say, though, I love chapter one's title.)

The first line? Perfection.

He sat there; on the edge of the edge of the bed, Uh-oh! Might want to take one of those out(;

The way you have her asking all of these questions are very spot-on, I think. I know I'd be curious if I was in her position.

I like the way you describe their kiss. It sends a chill through me :*<3 Reminds me of me and my boyfriends last kiss before I had to leave.

Love confessions. Ooooooooooooooh~

Omg the ending though. ): That saddens me so so much. But all together, this is very well written. <3 Awesometastic job, love.

I really loved this, the detail and the imagery, just how i can just imagine it like a movie playing in front of me of him fondling the zipper and protaying if he will come back or not, and the way she is trying stay calm and not cry from him leaving. Absoulutly amazing, good writer you are. <3

I really, really liked this. The layout was...wow. The layout was really beautiful and fitting to the story(: I could take in the whole feeling of sadness and doubt through the mixture of grey colors in the background. The banner I'm a little iffy on; as much as it blended perfectly with the rest of the layout, I wasn't sure as to if it fit to the story that well. But still, I liked the layout(:

The story was just...amazing. I think you wrote it very professionally. I like how, in between the small paragraphs, you put in italicized sentences to show the emotion and the passion.

There was one thing I was also not very fond of; I didn't like how, at the end, there was suddenly a small sex scene. I think a kiss would have done better. The sex scene seemed very...abrupt, and not too fitting for the story.

But, the ending was unexpected, and although it was sad, it was a nice read(: Good job. <3