:O Dang, that was so unexpected! And pretty hot, I have to say. Tonks and Scabior would be one messed up but attractive couple, I have to give them that.
I really like the way you set this up, with everything starting in the heat of the action with all the fighting and then inserting a flashback to explain everything. At first I thought that Tonks was just now noticing how attractive Scabior looks, but the way you wrote it with that flashback is so much better (and it ties it together nicely, with an affair and all). It also explained why Tonks wanted Remus to leave, so she could say her final goodbyes.
And that ending was really touching. I always get so heartbroken reading about people using Obliviate on their loved ones and friends, so that definitely got to me. I mean, I know Scabior's a Snatcher but I gotta feel for the guy, losing Tonks in that way. Especially because he risked everything to be with her that one time - even if it was for lust, it's still a huge risk for him to take. And in any case, I don't think it WAS just lust because you depicted him as fighting only Remus and completely ignoring Tonks because he didn't want to hurt her. Aah. I'm rambling, haha.
There were a few grammatical errors here and there; I think the biggest one was: Her tongue went up his leg and around his dick before she shoved the whole thinking in her mouth and sucked. I think instead of "thinking" you meant "thing"? Also the layout was a little hard to read with the purple font and the black background, but other than that, this was really well done. You fit so much into such a little story.
I really like the way you set this up, with everything starting in the heat of the action with all the fighting and then inserting a flashback to explain everything. At first I thought that Tonks was just now noticing how attractive Scabior looks, but the way you wrote it with that flashback is so much better (and it ties it together nicely, with an affair and all). It also explained why Tonks wanted Remus to leave, so she could say her final goodbyes.
And that ending was really touching. I always get so heartbroken reading about people using Obliviate on their loved ones and friends, so that definitely got to me. I mean, I know Scabior's a Snatcher but I gotta feel for the guy, losing Tonks in that way. Especially because he risked everything to be with her that one time - even if it was for lust, it's still a huge risk for him to take. And in any case, I don't think it WAS just lust because you depicted him as fighting only Remus and completely ignoring Tonks because he didn't want to hurt her. Aah. I'm rambling, haha.
There were a few grammatical errors here and there; I think the biggest one was: Her tongue went up his leg and around his dick before she shoved the whole thinking in her mouth and sucked. I think instead of "thinking" you meant "thing"? Also the layout was a little hard to read with the purple font and the black background, but other than that, this was really well done. You fit so much into such a little story.
Good luck in the contest! :)