He Was Clad in Green - Comments

Ugh, I'm so excited to read this simply because it's Zelda orientated. I've never read a Zelda story on here, and I'm very excited to see how you do considering I've been playing those games since I was a kid. The layout is nice and I like the color coordination and that you've kept the triforce in the layout.

Oooh, I don't know how I feel about this new story line. You can't have a Zelda story without Zelda! But we shall see how you do. :)

In my opinion I don't think you should call him 'the first Link' at least not in the retelling of the legend. In the games it was always referred to as 'the hero' or something like that and I think it'll sound more classic if you keep it like that. There were a few spelling errors throughout. No lie, while reading this though I could hear the theme music in the background ahha.

new vessel and raising against the intimate doom of Hyrule. I don't think you mean intimate….I think you might mean imminent? Intimate means personal. Imminent means likely to occur at any moment.

I feel like your second chapter is really stiff. There's barely any emotion except for in random spots and you tell us things very sharply. I've noticed that with the majority of your characters they're all very sure of themselves, or at least they have a slight ego. Such as Skye saying 'but I'm smart and…" with this kid he's all like" Well, they all think it's me and obviously it is." Just something I've noticed though. It's also super weird to have Link talk, I don't know how to feel about this hahaha.

Chapter One
Aww, Sam seems so close with his mom and you gave many good descriptions. I can see how nervous Sam is about possibily becoming the next hero of Hyrule.

Daryn is a meaner. Lol. I already don’t like him and Luca, poor Luca! He’s scared to death but it’s obvious that Sam cares for him a lot. :)

You left me at a cliff hanger, Jojo! D: I wanna know what happens next because…. I’m entranced. >.> The way you described Sam and Luca’s anticipation was done beautifully and this entire story was well written. I wanna see if Sam becomes the next Link.

I’m a Link fan girl, so, I am hoping that Sam is Link. X3

I can’t wait to read more. :3

Let me know when the next chapter is up!

Layout and Summary
First off, I love your layout and the banner! It actually fits the title and nothing clashes. :) You always make such cute layouts and the summary says just enough to draw the readers in, which I like! =D

Prologue
I like how described the way Link was always reincarnated and such. There’s only one thing that needs to be fixed so far though.

In this sentence:
And so the pattern began; the boy being reborn into a new vessel and raising against the intimate doom of Hyrule.
Raising needs to be changed to [io]rising. I know Microsoft Word probably automatically fixed that for you but whenever I hear similar sentences being said aloud, people always say rising. But it may just be me. :3

I love that prophecy! You made it rhyme and it made sense! You did a great job with this prologue, Jojo. I love it! Now I’m going to end this comment here because I want to add another separate comment for the next chapter. :)

Oh and for future reference, Hyruleans are also called Hylians.

The layout itself was very simple, and that was a nice change from some of the layouts I have seen recently.

The summary is good too. And I wonder what is so special about this child. I wonder who the boy clad in green is.

I only noticed one mistake, here, Fortunately, they last Link has put evil into a deep slumber. It's now centuries after our hero's death and peace has still remained in the land. I believe you mean the last.

The story seems like it is based off something specific. Some type of SciFi story, but it seems interesting. Keep up the good work!

Xxoo.

I love your story so far I will subscribe and comment more please write more

I love the layout and the title and summary makes me think it's going to be a funny story. I am so going to subscribe and wait for the first chapter! :D