Wait. Why did it post two times? o.0
September 26th, 2011 at 05:02pm
I cant really critique you because I just got a vaccination in my left fore-arm. If you're asking what that has to do with anything, then I ask you why everytime your start sneezing, your teacher is missing a scrap of homework. 'What does that have to do with anything?'
You're writing, according to my observations, is usually much, much, muchhhh better. I am usually in a severe state of G_A_P_E whenever I set my eyes on something of your writing, but now, I'm just like 'Eh'.
Plus, after comparing it to real life, this story sounds a lot like a rephrased sentence. You know very well that rephrased sentences are not allowed in high school essays, dont you? That if a rephrased sentence is caught you lose like 14 points?
You cant just rephrase life, or a personality, and leave it at that, just so the life or personality doesnt sue you for plagarism. Because rephrasing is still plagarism. Its still the incapability of coming up with awesomeness.
You've got to write it in your own words! So that it flows smoothly! So that when I read it, I dont trip and fall every 5 seconds even though I know the original thoughts/people!
You have to put more time into this, man. I feel like this account of events, even imagined ones, greatly disappointed me.
And hey. How about me!!! Arent I in there!!! Dont I have a part??!!!!
(XD)
