Suicidal Bright Lights - Comments

This story is incredible....... u and my bestie carrly would probably be good at co-writing. Just a recomendment shes 12 right now but shes my favorite ho so if u want to check it just holla o and her user name is Paint_it_black ...... im pretty sure. Mabey i should check that

Woman! I love you and all cause you're my bestest friend for like 3 years now! And I love the stroy and all cause it's really good, but NO! It's too sad! Like I almost cried! Do you understand what you put me through?!

Haha, sorry! Don't know where that came from! But, yeah... It is sad. And when you first told me Liam was gonna kill himself, I just like died! Away... I love the story! Haha! Text meh!

Here's your review! I know you asked a million years ago, but I had a lot of personal issues going on. :3

Layout: I like it. The colors go together very well, and I love the font.

Title: I don't really get it, it's just like you threw Suicidal in front of it, but I guess you'll explain how it fits in in the story.

Summary: Reading it, it makes me want to read more, def. To figure out what they're speaking of, of course.

One - Five: Whoa. The reveal that Christofer wasn't really... there made me a lot more intrigued. It gives the summary a whole new feel. I really enjoy your writing, it's really nice. Descriptive, but not overly flowery. Really dig it. You can sense Liam's hatred toward Christofer, but
you can also sense there's something underneath.

Christofer kissing him was cute, and it's kind of bittersweet, because it's like showing him how far... gone that Liam is. Kind of. That's how I interpreted it anyway. Him missing Christofer was kind of a heel-face turn, seeing as he hated him a few minutes ago. But reading on, it makes sense. He gets mad at his mom about Christofer, and takes it out on him.

The relationship is really cute, but really fucked up. My favorite kind. Brownie points for that.

The writing prompt thing was cute. That's a word to describe this story. Cute. But in a good way. Your writing is amazing, I just love it. Simple, but not overly-simple.

And now things get crazy. Is Christofer trying to kill him? Seeing where you pulled the summary from makes a lot more sense, and it gives it a lot more feeling behind it. It's awesome.

The last chapter was just... wow. I can't even explain how I feel about it. Also, you said 'pther' instead of 'other'. Just thought I'd point it out to you.

Overall, it was a very interesting concept, because of all the stories I've read about schizophrenia, I don't think I've read one where the relationship is between the person and the figment of their imagination, like nautical said.

Your writing is really great, and this piece was really awesome. :3

I really like the layout, first of all. The colors and everything are great.

Okay, so I only read the first chapter, but wow. I loved it. I am going to suscribe so I could come back and read the rest sometime.

The whole idea was interesting. I mean, there are so many stories about schizophrenics, but this was a lot different. You don't ever read about someone having a relationship with a figment of their imagination.

I have a feeling this is sad and great and I can't wait to read the rest. :p

NO! I was so hoping he wouldn't jump :( But honesty I did like the ending.
This was beyond amazing, it's one of my favorite stories (or one-shots I should say..) I have read. This was very well written, every detail was great, I could picture this happening. I will be re-reading this over again soon.

You did an amazing job on writing this :)

First off, NO! I need to know what happens!!!

This is beyond good, I got hook real fast. Which almost never happens alot when I read stories, yes I do get hook me it takes me to finish the chapter but within a couple of mins I was hook.

The summary was really good, it was short but yet drew me in. I also love the title, its different.

Your details are beyond good, I could piture this happening. You made it seem real life almost. Liam doesnt know if he wants Christopher around or not, at times he does and other times he doesnt. You made it seem as if he was real. The song Chris was singing was kind of scary in a way, which I like.

This is beyond good and I already love it. I will be reading more :)

Ohhh, man. I want the fifth chapter. Like, now! XD

This story is awesome. Christofer being a part of Liam's schizophrenia is such an odd thing to think about, and it really adds an extra touch of depth, I think. Makes the reader think, too. And I was listening to Jumper as I read, once I identified that it was the song Christofer was singing, and it's cool. Makes the connection even more clear. :)

Excellent job writing this. I absolutely love it! XD

:o Don't trip and fall and die, Liam!

I love the layout. The picture working brilliantly, though the font on the picture could have been a little bit smaller so it didn't overlap the girl. (I'm a graphic designer, so I'm a bit picky on photo design, but its still lovely xD)

The story is great, the characters are developed in the summary and then further developed in the first chapter. The idea behind it is brilliant, it's complex but easy to understand. You've got a pretty good story here.

for a Schizophrenic, you have awesome style.

That ^ is totally my motto! Haha.
I really love the layout. The banner is such an interesting thing.

I really like the story. It was worded great, it had personality, some interesting/humors lines, and I could relate.
I also really liked the description you had. No too much and not too little. Perfect balance.

What I might suggest is re-reading before posting. Some lines were worded oddly, and they could definitely use some re-wording.

All in all, this was interesting. I really really like it.

:}

I'm going to comment as I read, so if this doesn't quite make sense, this is why. And I'm gonna number my thoughts.
1. Yes! schizophrenia. You picked my soft spot. Mental illnesses :3
2. Summary is definitely enticing. Makes me even more anxious to read it.
3. Layout is nice, nicely made. Not my cup of tea, but nice.
4. Good beginning, not too much action, which is nice for a change, but introduces character and setting.
5. LOL the therapist has the same name as my Biology teacher.
6. The therapy appointment is making me uneasy...don't know why.
7. Okay, I finished reading the first chapter, and I'm slightly confused, but I'm sure once I read more my confusion will dissipate. I will now reread to see if there's any grammar or spelling mistakes I didn't notice...
8. Okay, no spelling or grammar mistakes I could see, just some things I'd change. Sometimes there's unnecessary commas, and I'd reword a few things. Less is more.
9. One other thing; I'm not sure if you have schizophrenia (and if you don't I apologize but I don't know what I can assume), but it's when the mechanism in the brain that filters out background "noise" doesn't work properly (among other things), so he should be more distracted. It's like people with schizophrenia are fine and talking normally one second, then they're looking at lights, saying that they're so pretty the next. Also, their sentences will often contradict themselves. Like, a sentence like, "You're a horrible person and I love you."

Overall, I really liked this, and I will definitely be reading more.

O_O Christopher is evil...

I'm not sure how I feel about this story...
I mean, obviously I like it. I really do! It's just very intriguing. I feel bad for Liam, though :(

The layout, also, is awesome!

Subscribing.

The layout is nice I think it fits the story well, with all the bright lights and what not.

I have to tell you I'm really shocked at the fact Christopher is all in his head when I was reading the Summary I got the impresion it was a real person of some type you've me very intrigued though and I'm hoping you post 2/5 soon

I wonder though why he told his mother what cause him to want to tell her, I was thinking maybe you could talk woth the theripist more... But maybe not have her write as much stuff down I see a theripist used to see two actually and they didn't really scribble all that much down just a thought and a little insight for you

Much <3 Kat

I like it. It's different haha I haven't read something like this in a while. I like the way you're writing it, too. Update soon, yes? Yay.

Hrm, so, I know it's fanfiction, according to your thingy, but I have no idea who it's of, so I'll pretend otherwise. I was a bit apprehensive about reading it because you said slash, and I do not like slash at all - I blame my own sexuality for that - but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.

I personally feel you did quite well at bringing Christopher into it, as he's obviously a product of Liam's schizophrenic mind, yes?

It was quite well done, and I'm intrigued to read more at some stage.

Good work

The layout is beautiful and the summary is making me mad, because it is soooo interesting and I want to read now, but you need to post the first chapter-.- I'm first comment!<3 I love this, I do, and I can't wait for you to start posting more.