Painted Smiles - Comments

I think the idea behind this story is a decent one, but I'm a bit undecided on the actual story itself. I know this is only the first chapter, but it just doesn't stand out or hook me in any way. Mostly, I feel like this piece could be greatly improved by some revision and re-write. It feels a bit rushed to be honest, and I found several errors that disctracted me and impeded my understanding of the story.
He tried to hide the fact he loved guys by fitting in with wearing normal gang boy styled clothes, knowing if his mom knew she would kill him herself so It was hard facing the reality of not being able to be yourself when one day he met the guy of his dreams.
-This sentence kind of confused me and is a major run-on. There's a lot to be done for it, so I will leave how you fix it totally up to you, but it needs to be revised.
They wanted to hide the fact they were dating so going on private midnight dates was now a tradition to them, when someone had found out…the next day things had gone beyond Carson’s control.
-Again, this statement is a run-on. The comma after "them" should be a period. "When someone had found out" is the start of a separate statement.
‘You’re a dirty fag.’ Was ducked taped onto it with silly string now being blown on him, he struggled to get away when people began to yell calling him a fag and a nerd, he knew this would happen and he has no way out his mom just got the job.
-"was" doesn't need to be capitalized to my knowledge. The comma after "him" should be a period. "He struggled..." being the start of a new statement. The comma after "nerd" should be a period. "He knew..." is a new statement. Also "he has" should be "he had" because the rest of this is written in the past tense.
It wasn’t just one day of this he knew it would haunt him and he can’t take that, whispering to himself that how much he will miss Tyler and his mom he began to drown himself.
-There should be a comma after "this" and after "him" The comma after "that" should be a period; "Whispering to himself..." is the start of a new statement. There should be a comma after "mom"
That was the moment the society began the champagne of [delete] and stop bulling.
-I'm not entirely sure what this means. Is the "[delete]" supposed to be there and written like that? and "bulling" should probably be "bullying".

This story has potential; I hope you don't abandon it. Cheers.

Layout/Banner/Summary
Yes; I comment on these. The story is the most important part but these are a part of it. That makes them important too just not as much. Well it's all pretty simple. I like how the pattern image is somewhat similar to the wallpaper in your banner. The wood draws it together too which is good. I'm not really fond of layouts where the wood pattern is just thrown in there without a similar pattern to go with it. Yours is nice and simply made. The summary is pretty straightforward too. It kind of gives me an idea of what the story will be about but it also mixes up the plot a bit. That's a good thing to have because it makes the reader think. I like when a story makes me thing.

Chapter One
"kill him herself so It was hard" - The "I" in "It" should be lowercase.

This was really sad. I know it's a semi older story and doesn't look like it's being updated but it's still sad. People are just way too judgmental of others. Your story is a perfect example of how badly it can effect an individual. The imagery in your words make it easy to perfect everything happening in this chapter. The emotion kind of killed any happiness felt before reading it though. To be honest just the summary did that. I saw the story's status saying it was active still. Were you planning on making it a chaptered story? If you did it definitely has potential to be a great one.

It's so sad that society won't except something as natural as this. i really like how you portrayed this, so far. Your descriptions were good. This chapter felt a little rushed though. Kind of like from point A to point B without any really details in the middle you know? so far so good though.

I like this(: I'm glad you put it up and used the layout I made for you.

I really like this. I love how you described Carson in the first parapgraph with, blue eyes that changed to ocean blue when he was mad.
I especially like that sentence in particular.

The last line has me very curious. I have my suspicions about what he was going to do. I feel bad for Carson.
This was really good, and I hope you update soon. :)

I like this. I didn't understand the last line, which I'm sure due to the boldness was meant to make an impact.