Grey Suit Jacket - Comments

he said in a monotone voice. - the use of the word 'monotone' already suggests that his voice has that tone, so you don't really need 'voice' in there. You could keep it as he said in a monotone but if you think that sounds odd without 'voice' you could also write it as he said with a monotony or something like that. But for now, monotone suggests voice/tone, so you don't really need 'voice' in there.

He didn’t meet her eyes, only looked straight ahead, over her shoulder, at the curtains covering the world outside. - there are too many commas in this sentence, the first one is okay but the other two break the sentence up unnecessarily.

“I will,” he argued. He didn’t raise his voice, tried to keep himself calm. - for me, argued insinuates a kind of anger or frustration or change of tone in voice. I think if you say he didn't raise his voice, maybe change the way he spoke to something like "I will," he simply stated, or something that doesn't show that he might have raised his voice when he didn't.

we can live like this.” - can't?

and he didn’t dear - dare

and her eyes full of anger. - were full of

Technical things: I think you overuse commas in this piece. There's a lot of times where they don't need to be used at all. Like the breaks just don't give the piece the flow it should have, rather the reader's always pausing and most of the time it's not really for a dramatic effect. I think if you sit down and read it very critically you may be able to see what I mean. Go through the sentences that have commas, read it aloud or something, then read it without commas and see what the difference is.

Overall though, I think it's a very lovely piece. It's quite simple and that's good, because you still got the point of the story across well. :) I like how the majority of it was his assertion to leave her and once she was sobbing into him he caved in and said he would stay. I like how that kind of reflected his monotony. His voice was lacking any kind of emotion, repetitive of the same...and the situation he was in was repetitive of the same as well. It's just a very nice piece. :)

I can't get over how talented you are. Just, wow. Imre, you just get better and better every time. I don't even know how that's possible...

Layout & Summary:
Yes I love simple layouts but think you should at least add some sort of picture so it doesn’t look as….uninviting as it does presently. But I do like the phrases you choice to put in the summary area. It pulls a reader in.

Story:
I this story and the relationship involved, purely for the fact that it is so dysfunctional and because of the need of the other. The girl saying she knows she deserves better but wants him anyways is so tragic and poetic. You can feel the love that they have for each other.

This is so full of emotion. I wish I knew the story behind these two. It would have made this even better.
The end is great: " “I won’t leave you, I promise.” Just like he always did. "
Do I sense a hidden meaning in those last few words? I think I do!