Shattering Glass - Comments

I have no idea where this is going and that's what makes it intruiging for me, but it seems like Alice will be a badass no matter what. This is absolutely fantastic and I envy how you write. C:

First of all, this is absolutely beautiful. I don't think I have read such a well put together and interesting third person story on this site ever before. The layout is dark and ties in the way that your words come together, enforcing the emotions that the story is supposed to invoke. My guess would be that Alice is actually incredibly lonely and angry, though I don't know why. I want to know why.

I absolutely loved the summary. Though it was only a few sentences long, it drew me into the story because, unlike some summaries I have seen, it didn't give an overview of the entire plot line. It didn't do much but infer about the plot line. That's the way I like it.

Alice seems to be a handful, but I'm sure she has a reason that we will all discover as you continue to write. Usually I provide the author with some constructive criticism as well, but I'm at a loss. I can't find anything that needs to be fixed. This is just plain terrific. Subscribing!

This story must be quite a favorite of yours, if you've modeled your profile layout after it. Or maybe it was the other way around, I don't know. Either way, they're both stunningly gorgeous. I never do dark layouts, because I never do dark stories, so I adore things like this.

You've done a great first chapter. Is this supposed to be something about Alice in Wonderland or is that just a coincidence? Through the Looking Glass, Alice, it just made me think of it, but that could be a coincidence.

Great job, I can't wait to read more!

This is beautiful. I wish I could write this well 3:
The only advice I could give is to make it a bit longer - to stretch out what your trying to say, not to go into even deeper into the same details, but to add more. Also, maybe you could sort of let us know where this is going exactly.
...lol.

I love your description of Alice. She seems like the kind of character you want to read more about. Like the girl who's trouble you always look for in the newspaper.
And your layout is absolutely gorgeous, just sayin.
Subbing.

First off, I love the simpleness of the layout; it seems to go very well with the story and the colors all match quite well. As far as the summary, it was short, sweet, and to the point which is just how I like them :D

When I first looked at chapter one, I had to laugh at the girl's name because of it's similarities to the name of a past character of mine, Estella Marie Montgomery xD long name with awesome last name lol But anyways, Alice sounds like an awesome character with her ways and her yearn for revenge. What exactly is she looking for vengence for? I'm so curious! :D Definitely bookmarking to see where you take this :) awesome job!

Update soon!

This is so short, but it does NOT lack any detail at all. I loved the way your wrote this and played with the words like you did. Sometimes when people try to use big words it doesn't sound right, but you knew what you were talking about and it worked really well.

I love the layout of this story too! :)

Even though though the first chapter is not very long ( which I love) I can already feel myelf growing fond of the main character. You can tell she is heading down a different path in life and this makes the story quite interesting.

I like how there were no spelling and gramar mistakes, this makes the story more enjoyable to read. I'm going to subscribe to this because I want to know waht happens next!
Keep up the good work and please update soon. :)

This really interests me Rachel, even more so than Will Noon's wardrobe selection!

Well, I’m just going to shoot this out here as simple as I can: Alice is one bad-ass mothafucka and I’m already in love with her as a character. Through the 249 words you have written, you have managed to make me want to love Alice because even though she’s had a shit life, she’s still smirking and plotting out the way to make it even better for herself.

That probably doesn’t make sense to you but it does to me so...

Yeah, I’m really looking forward to reading more of this m’dear Rachel ‘cause it’s awesome just like your face!

First thoughts; Oooooh, this is by Rachel.<3 This is going to be asdfghjkl; amazing. <3 c:

Second thoughts; I'm never ever leaving this story page. I'm coming back after I comment and staring at it for hours and am going to drool all over this fabulousness. The layout is totally pretty (I adore the contrast) and I'm loving the opening. It was so intense in so few words and it totally fits the chick in the banner, you know? She looks like she's doing some serious angry thinking, oh yes. Plotting and going to reek some revenge and break some glass houses, mhmm.

You're a mad genius Rachel and I must say that I love your mind and am incredibly fascinated the way it works it's genius, ohmygosh. This was not just words on a screen to me, oh no. No way, no how. This was in fact like an amazingly amazing portal to some awesome dimension that I would very much like to live in with a very cool girl I would like to grow to know. c: I like how you depict her as a troubled but strong little thing and for some reason I forsee a very, very big soft spot of a heart maknig an enterance in the near future. You're an amazing writer *cough*person*cough* and I adore this. I'm so, so, so happy it's a chaptered story cause that means more Rachel-mazing is more to comeeee. Very happy. Wanna know how happy? It's like, "Ohhey, I'm wearing that smile you gave me." (: You're a brilliant writer. This is pure, well constructed elegance and I enjoyed reading it very much so. It was just perfect. I didn't spot not one single mistake and I'm half tempted to read this one moe gin, eheh.<3

Really, this is amazing. c:
Sorry about the dreadful comment. ); <3

This is so short! I really like the layout, I think it matches what you're going for. The tone and everything. The summary is good too, but it didn't really give me an idea of what the story is about. I mean, it was just kind of lingering. Which you probably did intentionally. Like, I'm not going to tell you what's going to happen because you have to read to find out. You're cruel! D;

Okay, first sentence was good because it drew me in. First sentences are much more important than some people seem to think. And I like the whole thing you've got going with the "they say" this "they say" that. It's kind of sad and nostalgic and whatever. I don't know. I can't find a word for it. But I like it! And I hope you continue doing it throughout the story.

I love that you describe her as the wild card. What a great way to put it. I think I like this Alice girl already. She seems rebellious and mysterious and COOL. Like that girl who just floats through high school doing her own thing while people just wondered about her but never approached her. And I'm left wondering about this revenge that you briefly touch on at the very end. What's that all about? Hmm, let me click to the next chapter. OH WAIT. >:|

Your writing is great. Descriptive but it also has a distinct style about it. It's the way you describe things. It's very original and unique. And you use such uncommon words, it's nice. I didn't feel like I was reading something really mundane, or like I was reading every other story on Mibba. This is different just because of the way you write. It's elegant with undertones of that dark kind of mystery that everyone loves.

This story is not for the average simpleton. Good thing I'm not! :') I'm subbing.

Damn you. Fucking...damn you. I really get jealous of your writing because you use these big ass words that sometimes I don't understand but they sound like they just go with the story and adhasjdhadkjkda. I have an A+ in a fucking college level English class and your words still blow me the fuck out the way.

In saying that, let me gush, okay? Because not only does the layout just look super duper (...) with the theme of the story but Alice seriously seems like..that little girl in the Scarlet Letter. I don't know if you've read it or not but look up Pearl one day and read about she acted. Like some little nymph or evil thing hooded with a pretty face and shit. I don't know but I like Alice.

You had the perfect amount of description and it was all mysterious and I just shat myself from the hawtness. Well, not hawtness per say but the amazing ability you never fail to showcase in your writing cannot be...uh what's the word. DEFINED. Yeah. You have something special in every bit you write but this was my favorite by far.

Harry and I, dear, we approve. <3

Point A) Lovely layout. Not much else to say about it other than that, it's just lovely.

Point B) I didn't see any gramatical or spelling errors, so if there were any they weren't very noticeable since I usually catch them.

Point C) this seems very interesting. I like the idea, but it didn't really grab me, y'know. I would most likely keep reading if there was more, but only to see what happened next. It's one of thoes types of stories for me. You know the kind: the idea is there, you wanna keep reading to know what happens, but it isn't necessarily your thing. You know? Right? Well, it's that for me. Not necessarily my thing, but I would keep reading it.

All in all, a fairly good job.

I accidentally cut like half of my comment out -_-
I said that I really thought the last sentence was really dramatic and it really entices the reader into clicking onto the next chapter (not that there is one right now). I love the imagery you use in this as well.

Oh woowww, so the summary is like amazing, I love the words you use. It's long enough to attract the readers attention and short enough not to bore anyone. I really love the first chapter as well, I really do love the way you write, and this has really fascinated. I'm subscribing because this has so much potential!

I've read plenty of stories in third person but i like yours the best. You give me the feeling like you're actually telling me, alone, the story of Alice. And I like how you're using, I guess, "big" words but you actually know what they mean. Anyway, great first chapter.

COMMENT VIRGINITY!! XD

Alice just sounds so bad a--. Like the hardcore wild child which everyone loves in a story. I can't wait to see what you do with her, and what she does as this evolves.