Kuchisake-onna - Comments

This made me feel sick. But in a good way! This was really scary so you did a great job on that. That's kind of funny how the only way to be saved is by saying she's so-so. It would be interesting to read another version, so don't hesitate to comment me when you have different versions of this urban legend. I enjoyed it. :)

Urban legends scare me! At least I know what to do if I ever come across something like that. You have real talent for horror which is amazing since you said this was your first. I'd love to read more stories like this and it's really unique your're bringing these urban legends to light.

Oh wow just from the fact that I know about this legend freaks me out to read a story about it. However, I enjoyed it a whole lot nevertheless haha. Ah I'm into scary things like this and you did an absolutely excellent job. Kudos!

This was amazing. I'm not even kidding. I don't know why but I grew to love Kuchisake-onna because I just really am fond of urban legends. You made everything so real and just jump off the page. IT WAS LIKE I WAS THERE. AND WATCHING.

This is the best horror one shot I have ever read. I'm not joking nor am I lying. It's amazing, it's well developed and it's like something like this can actually happen.

I AM SUBSCRIBING TO THIS SO I CAN RE-READ IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I LOVE THIS. It's so freaking... haunting! And good choice for the banner. I really liked that. Keep writing, it's really good!

Eww, okay the banner was creepy. o_o Seriously, I had to look away because it was just so... bleh! Creeeepy.

I noticed that your first three paragraphs (and quite a few of your sentences) start with "Asuka". That's normal, obviously, but you should try to mix things up a bit, I think, so it doesn't all appear to be the same. That can get boring. But this wasn't boring, though! Just, a lot of your sentences have the same structure to them.

BUT THIS WAS SO CREEPY! My goodness. It gave me the creeps. You're really good at the whole horror thing, you know. The initial strangeness of the woman was just really freaky. Because I just knew she was a psycho killer. The way you portrayed her was just so... kasjhdfkl creepy! And then she just got even worse, of course! The way you described her "smile". Ew. Ew ew ew. If I was Asuka, I would have just died on the spot. My heart would have just stopped working. D;

If this was a horror movie, I would have had to turn it off! I cannot stand horror movies because they freak me out so much. Reading horror stuff isn't as bad, but still, you did a pretty good job at freaking me out with this. I'm so glad I wasn't eating something while I read this.

The worst thing about it was that it was in the school, so that made it realistic! It started off fairly normal and then BAM scary woman with a cut up smile. But you write really well. Obviously, if you can make me so freaking creeped out, you know how to write. I would say good job, but I'm too freaked out.

i loved this! ur an amazing writer!

I read this and it creeped me out, haha. Nicely done.

I've never read anything like this before. I love horror stories which is odd because I'm quite a wimp when it comes to movies, aha. This was really well done. (: <33

In the tenth paragraph (I believe), you wrote It wasn’t humanely possible instead of humanly. c: I think this was really good! I couldn't wait for you to write one of these. I hope you do some of the other ones as well. I think they'd make for some interesting stories.
This was very well-written.

I'm actually quite scared right now but it was great. I haven't read anything like it before, it was really original. The picture creeps me out but it's amazing at the same time, if that makes any sense at all. I couldn't see any errors :)

I like this. It's pretty original. I've not seen anything like it on Mibs before. So, kudos on that.

The only real error I saw was you put "you've" instead of "you're" in there somewhere. I didn't copy it, but I'm sure you can find it.

Great job! Really creepy.

No one has commented on this? Seriously?
I loved it! I can't believe you don't write much anymore because this is awesome.
I hope you start writing again because you have so much talent, it's unbelievable.