How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse - Comments

This was great! :)
Amazing.
I had goosebumps! Shivers!

I've never read anything of yours before, so I wasn't sure what to expect, but I think you're a pretty good writer! Plus, who doesn't love a good zombie story?

I wouldn't really say zombies are above the law. They just have no regard for it. I'm not sure I like the style of this story. The "You will do this," and "She will do this," is what I mean. It may just be personal preference, but it doesn't appeal to me. I think this would have been much more interesting if it had been told in a more active voice instead of passive. That usually does make things more interesting. I realize you most likely told the story like this on purpose and that changing that would change the entire story completely. Still, I think it would make it more interesting.

I do like how fast-paced this was - how there's always action or running or adrenaline. You have a lot of shorter sentences in there, and that makes it move along pretty quickly. I liked the part about not trusting anyone. I just liked how you presented it. "Remember the lesson you learned when you left your mother's house—that others may need to be sacrificed to keep yourself alive? Others have figured that out too." You even brought back what you talked about before and made a connection within your own story.

I loved the ending! I kind of knew it was going to happen, but it was satisfying nonetheless. Through this whole thing, I was practically on the edge of my seat. It had that great thriller quality about it. There was so much suspense in this, because of all the action. The only thing I didn't like about it was that it was told in second person (which is mostly personal preference) and that there were a lot of passive verbs in it (which is not personal preference). But good job with all the action! (:

I love this it's amazing!

Alright, well the first thing is I would recommend getting a layout that someone else made. The pre-made layouts are all so unattractive. I'm actually very excited to read this simply because the last zombie story I read was one I was co-writing, but that one ended after like the fourth chapter.

I liked the beginning. I like that you don't hold back the gore. That you give us a clear visual of what everyone is seeing. And while I like the second person in the second paragraph, I think it sounds odd going from third person to second person. Maybe that's just me but it sounds a bit off. I also love the bit about the mother. I'm assuming her child or husband turned and she thought it could be fixed and got herself killed in the process?

I have to sat that I'm impressed. The entirety of this piece is incredible and life-like. I'm glad you don't hold back with anything. You tell it like it is and because you've done that you've created an incredible realistic piece. Everything you said was wonderful and I have no advice aside from the layout change. Also, I very much like that the person didn't survive, and that it was almost like a manual to survival.

This was really good! I love the POV you used - not much of that is seen around this site. The description was fantastic; I was a little bit nauseous thinking about watching my mom being eaten by zombies, then laughed at the gun-owner's little comments, and was surprised at the ending. A good kind of surprised though, for sure. There are a LOT of zombie stories around, but I haven't seen too many that actually describe the thoughts of the person who is becoming the zombie. Usually it's from the POV of the people on the run. All in all, amazing job! Completely loved it. <3

My mouth is on the ground right now. I really did not expect this to be as good as it was because of the layout (I guess you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, eh?). The summary really pulled me in and the chapter... God it has such amazing detail. I certainly love the way you wrote this, like it was someone telling them what was going to happen before it actually happend.

I got shivers when I read this part: "BANG! Better aim this time—the one closest to you is hit square in the forehead. It falls back, and the others swarm around it. There are too many of them. Try to run—but no, they're closing in, and the shop is small with no back way out. Why did you let them corner you?"

Every single thing about this is wonderful and dark and horrific and just akdfjsd. I want to devour it. The only mistake I found is a simple one. When the character runs out of the store you said she/he dropped their bag of food, but the ending was: "You drop your bag. You don't need that kind of food anymore." Other than that, it's amazing.

I had goosebumps the entire time I read this and that's really hard to get me to do. I'm happy to see something that doesn't have a happy ending, for once.

Beautiful, I love it to bits.

The layout could have been better, but what can you do when you pick a pre-made? It was better than none at all.

The summary was nice, it really pulled me in and did it's job as a summary.

As for the chapter itself... It was amazing! I loved your writing style and details. I really think that you could turn this into a full story! Let me know if you do. The ending was just perfect. Looks like someone is going to be a zombiiiiiie~ Keep up the good work! (:

Xxoo.

I like this story...or one shot? Well the first chapter was good, but I am use to reading things with contractions so it was kind of...not weird but well it didn't seem to flow together with "they are not" and you know using both words instrad of the contraction thing.

The layout was okay when I was at the summary page, but when I started to read the chapter I felt as though the layout could have been some kind of a redish firey kind of color so it would better paint a picture of chaos.

But all in all not bad start for a chapter, the fact I am kind of scared right now by my icon and reading this just made me more alret of my surroundings. This is probably the only time I am glad my dog followed me to the dining room.

Bhahahhaha sorry didnt mean to laugh but that last part is funny :3 bcuz the characters is a zombie now. Is it weird I was scared? Like seriously i hate zombies so I was scared. And idk about u but I'd rather die saving my bro then live alone with zombies. The guilt and grieve would kill me alone tho i understand it was for the story but just saying.

I think this is awesome! One of your best, imo. :D

FIRST COMMENT! WHOOT!

Wow..I must say for someone who doesn't like Zombies...You sure did a great job! :D
I loved it. I normally try to stay away from the Second person narrative since Quizilla, but I will admit it was really good here. I kinda wondered why you'd stop running when you said the whole food thing I was like OMG HES A ZOMBIE NOW~!

I really enjoyed it :)
~Brias