Pretty Penny - Comments

  • maxim adam bemis;

    maxim adam bemis; (100)

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    i first read this story on fanfiction.net and was pleasantly surprised when i found it on here. i hope you decide to one day continue this story, because it's honestly one of the best in this fandom and your writing is absolutely perfect. c:
    September 13th, 2015 at 06:30am
  • mori art ti

    mori art ti (105)

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    @Kira Tsumi

    I do plan on continuing, though it's on hiatus right now. I really hate to stop like this, but I've got terrible writer's block. Thanks for the comment!
    April 30th, 2013 at 06:19pm
  • Kira Tsumi

    Kira Tsumi (100)

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    love the story, do you plan on continuing it?
    April 26th, 2013 at 04:45am
  • Favole

    Favole (150)

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    please update! i love your story
    March 18th, 2012 at 03:27am
  • bashful

    bashful (100)

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    I really enjoyed this chapter and completely didn't see the events coming! The way you described everything so clearly and, well, kind of beautifully gave me a happy feeling inside - the way the blood stung Penny's lips, the way her scream for Lizard was unplanned... Also, I thought the ending was just... so lovely, with Lizard's 'yeah'. I mean, that was just perfect and showed so much about his character.
    It would be very nice to see more updates on this story but please don't force yourself. We'd all rather they were each of this quality and irregular than poorer quality but often! :)
    March 15th, 2012 at 10:12am
  • Favole

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    oh my goodness this story is great!! please update!!
    March 15th, 2012 at 10:11am
  • K-N-R

    K-N-R (100)

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    Such a great story :) thank you for updating today. Love this story :)
    March 15th, 2012 at 05:34am
  • K-N-R

    K-N-R (100)

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    This wasn't your best chapter, kinda thought the flash back went on for too long, but it was a good filler though, shows some of the events that happened before the famiy was murdered. But its not bad at all though, your a good writer. :) Very good story.
    January 9th, 2012 at 09:36am
  • Gurl

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    Thanks for updating! Loved it.
    January 9th, 2012 at 01:28am
  • bashful

    bashful (100)

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    I adored how the memory was written. It wasn't blatantly the place - no dead bodies hanging around etc. - but it definitely was. Also, the atmosphere you created during it was tantalising. When he was like, 'oh yeah, that shortcut over there' and they were like 'oh really? Bit odd, but okay, thanks!' - gah, I was just screaming 'NOOO!' in my mind xD The transition between memory and present was seamless. I thought it was lovely how they interacted, even if it did have that 'you know what happens if you don't do it my way' edge a bit. Personally, I like 'uneventful' chapters as much as ones full of huge happenings. They're like miniature character studies and I love thinking into characters! :D
    January 8th, 2012 at 09:12pm
  • Grrlovescupcakes16

    Grrlovescupcakes16 (100)

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    just re-read these chapter again, i really like this story and i cant wait till you update again :)
    January 1st, 2012 at 07:52pm
  • Grrlovescupcakes16

    Grrlovescupcakes16 (100)

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    I love his story so much! i really cant wait for the next chapter : )
    December 11th, 2011 at 03:07pm
  • K-N-R

    K-N-R (100)

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    :) such a good chapter, loved how you bring in the other clan without any of their characters having to be there. You bring alot of details to the characters with the way they act, talk, and interact with each other, especially with Penny. Lizard is one of my favorite characters :) a very brutal mutant with a little bit of heart. I also love how you keep to the atmosphere and setting of the hills have eyes. You have done so well on this story, I honestly hope you keep up the good work and write another chapter soon.
    December 4th, 2011 at 05:08am
  • Gurl

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    Aw. He really likes her, he just doesn't want to admit it.
    December 3rd, 2011 at 07:42am
  • bashful

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    Oh my, this chapter was so many things! First of all sweet - I still love Lizard to bits and how he interacts with Penny. Second, enlightening - all this new knowledge about Lizard's mum and his uncle and his uncles secret women. It was great to find all of it out, especially the women, as it's kind of like hope for Penny who I think is getting a little depressed about her situation again. Understandable, though. Thirdly, excellent - you've kept up all the things I said were good in the review and it was yet another thouroughly enjoyable and brilliant chapter! Looking forward to finding out where it goes from here :)
    December 3rd, 2011 at 05:47am
  • K-N-R

    K-N-R (100)

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    Awesome story :) I can't wait to read the next chapter.
    November 28th, 2011 at 07:41pm
  • iliketrust

    iliketrust (100)

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    I love this story please please write more
    November 22nd, 2011 at 02:30am
  • frankschick1

    frankschick1 (100)

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    This is great!

    Keep up the good work & update soon please!
    November 20th, 2011 at 03:40pm
  • bashful

    bashful (100)

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    OK, OK. I have finally got round to doing the prizes for winning. I'm so sorry and... Well... I'll PM you with the whole story and what have you. Now on to the actual prize itself!

    First of all, I must say I haven't watched these Hills Have Eyes movies but by reading chapter one alone, I already feel like I have. The description of the people's physical appearance and personality is rather subtly weaved into the actual plot of the chapter, which is a skill I - and many people - very much admire in a writers work. As I said in your actual contest entry, your sentence structure and vocabulary is beautifully poetic and wonderfully professional throughout, in the sense that I can imagine seeing your writing in a book shop, properly printed and bound etc. I can also see it on my bookshelf with a broken spine from the amount of times I have re-read it.
    I adore how realistic Penny and Lizard's relationship is, which is shown even in the first lines of the first chapter. They aren't all loved up (which, given the circumstances and the past whole strapped to a bed thing that was mentioned, I wasn't surprised by) but at the same time it isn't cold stone hatred. It's just a kind of, almost sweet in a way, convenience thing. That's how it looks to me but I don't really know if that's just my uneducated interpretation.
    For me, when it was revealed in chapter three that they were cannibals, I was rather shocked. I suppose this is where my lack of background knowledge comes to bite me in the butt again, although I did have a sneaking suspicion something was going on, but I adore how it's quite casually thrown in there. Just one line really: 'Somehow it was worse to hear the impending cannibalism voiced in her innocent soprano.' - I think that line is just superb, though. I can't even put my finger on exactly why I like that line so much, but it is superb anyway. Be proud of it.
    Later when Rico turned up, I swear you could have fitted a four Rubix cubes snugly between my jaws. Oh my goodness me, I didn't see that happening. I say that a lot but this time it was like I read the line, paused, re-read the line, paused and then was able to carry one. If I'm being honest, I was initially disapointed by his escape. I'll admit, I was kind of thinking along the lines of 'Oh. So that's it? Guy comes along, she escapes? This'll be fun to review...' when it all looked hunky dory - when being the operative word. The entire scene with Lizard and Penny by the water pump and then going back to the house was excellent to put it lightly. The suspense you created with Lizard where it was a we-know-that-he-knows-that-she-knows-that-he-knows moment would have had me on the edge of my seat but I'm sitting cross legged in an armchair so that's no go. When Rico got shot, it was a perfect moment. Writing-wise, of course. Very simple, very effective.
    The line that gave me that feeling right next to your heart when you see exceptional writing - like when a photographer sees an exceptional photo or a singer hears an exceptional voice - was this: 'I gathered all my willpower to stare into his face, my captor and my savior and my personal devil.' Oh my holy Lord, that gave me shivers. And then another line that didn't give me shivers but made me smile: '…but I was surprised to find I didn’t notice unless I really thought about it. Lizard was my normal now. A boring, everyday, garden-variety mutant psychopath.' Injecting a little humour is always good, otherwise it gets dull. Also, basically from there to the end of chapter five made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. And I love that. It was gorgeous. It made me feel at peace. It shows how exceptional your work is when I can honestly say I panicked, properly panicked when the shooting started. And then when Lizard got shot-
    He's a mean, nasty, psychopath bastard but he is at the same time utterly sweet and a darling and I love his character to bits already and I would have been in despair had he died, so thank God he did not! This story flows perfectly, as well, I felt I should add. As for 'negatives' as this is a review and I'm probably supposed to give constructive crit., well...
    I couldn't find any. Not a single thing wrong grammatically, spelling-ly, punctuation-ally, plot-line-ally, getting-facts-right-ally. This story has absolutely nothing wrong with it that I can find. I shall be subscribing once I post this. As I said with your contest entry, this is stunning. Keep up the wonderful, amazing, fantabulous work! :D
    November 20th, 2011 at 01:08pm
  • ilovetherev

    ilovetherev (100)

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    Can't wait to see what's next!!
    November 18th, 2011 at 07:45pm