Pictures on the Wall - Comments

though i'm not a fan of these types of stories, i have to say that i'm somewhat intrigued by this. i absolutely adore the summary bc of it's faded font & color scheme. + the layout is simple -- brownie points.

i found a few awk sentences & spelling errors but aside that, everything else was okay. i normally tend to stay away from these stories bc they're repetitive & a lot of other writers use the plot line -- making it far from original. i think that some dialogue between cristi & caroline was a bit odd bc i don't see it in a realistic perspective. i just finished chap one so i'll finish the rest. good job with detail & the flow of your sentences

Double Decker
I enjoyed the bit of banter between both girls in the first chapter when they were fussing about appearance. While it may not be characteristic for her friend, deep down everyone cares a little about how they look! I love how she takes photographs, she sounds so artsy!

I was honestly a little miffed when Christ wouldn't leave her go to the Hospital on her own, for liability reasons. Rockstars looking after their own back! Phsaw, deep down it was because he secretly cared and was attracted to her, no doubt xD And my suspicions are only heightened now that their arguing like a couple. Those nurses were right!

A great idea too to have her possible be a photographer for them. I wonder will she put up a fight though, she seems the fiery type!

I'm here to deliver a Halloween treat!

Your description and sentence structure is spot on, so it's a real pleasure to read through this. I haven't spotted any grammar mistakes so far (I did, however, notice a typo in the first paragraph in Cristi's name at some point, so it might be worth taking a look at that), which is another massive bonus when reading.

The song you wrote is actually really good, so kudos on that! The storyline is rather typical, but you've managed to spice it up a little bit with having Cristi being knocked over as the way she meets the band. I've not really seen that in a story before.

Overall, you've got a good little story here, keep up the good work, and happy Halloween! :)

Okay, before I even comment on the actual story- I LOVE your layout! It's cute and simple. The story was well written and I couldn't see many errors. But the real thing that stood out to me was the lyrics; they are pure awesomeness. I also like your writing style as it flows really easily. Overall, I really liked your story- good luck with it and happy Halloween

I loved the layout. Is was simple and had artistic edge in it xD awesomeness.

I liked the story and the lyrics you wrote, well I think you said you wrote them, we AMAZING. I could never write lyrics like that. Well, at all actually. But, I really enjoyed the story and it was cute. It would be awesome of Cristi and Chris got together or something like that. But it's your story not mine. I did catch a few mistakes but that's okay :). Good luck in my contest! Only one person is going to be eliminated this round.

First of all, the picture you used for the layout was adorable. I loved it. :3

Secondly, I love both of your characters and they're both so relateable, it's awesome. Of course the main is my favorite, but Caroline is definitely second.

This seems like it's going to be a love story so is the title supposed to be ironic? I don't know but I like what I've seen so far. Your writing style is very, very good. It has a good flow to it and this almost seems like a novel. I like the way you word things. Is that strange? Lol. I also really like how te best friend is the insecure one, when usually it's the main character. It's a refreshing change.

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I love the layout. It actually looks like it's the girls in the story. Which that's probably what you were going for. I think it's pure cuteness.

I also loved the summary. It was very simple.

You told me to just read the first chapter but I had to read the second. I don't regret it one bit. It was so cute. It actually reminds me of me and my friend. It's how we are.

I only caught one grammar mistake.

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To start off, I really like the layout you made; how it's all very neutral and black and white, except for the pop of pinkness on their lips and in the sentence. The divider with the birds is also quite cute :3 As for the summary, I'm going to guess that they're lyrics from a song? (This is coming from someone who doesn't know who The Romance is Dead is xD)

As for chapter one, I sort of liked how it was in 3rd Point of View to give an insight on both of the girls, Cristi and Caroline. The personalities seem pretty different, with Caroline being a bit more outgoing and socialible - it seems - while Cristi likes view things through her camera. Maybe I have that wrong, but that's what I gained from both of them. I also like that while Cristi seems like she isn't looking forward to the concert, she went through with looking them up and getting all dressed up.

I'm curious to see what you plan to do with this! Good luck on it c:

The layout is gorgeous. I love the splash of color on the banner and in the summary- it looks great with the gray background. And the summary, I loved, too. It was just enough to grab your attention. As for the actual story- so far, so good. I like that it revolves around the band and photography, and that you actually seem to know what you are talking about when it comes to that stuff. c: I only read the first chapter, but it's like, I could already tell that the girls have a great friendship. Just, overall, it was all good. There was a lot of just plain telling vs showing, but sometimes that's hard to avoid. :)