March 5th, 2014 at 05:48pm
Double Decker
I enjoyed the bit of banter between both girls in the first chapter when they were fussing about appearance. While it may not be characteristic for her friend, deep down everyone cares a little about how they look! I love how she takes photographs, she sounds so artsy!
I was honestly a little miffed when Christ wouldn't leave her go to the Hospital on her own, for liability reasons. Rockstars looking after their own back! Phsaw, deep down it was because he secretly cared and was attracted to her, no doubt xD And my suspicions are only heightened now that their arguing like a couple. Those nurses were right!
A great idea too to have her possible be a photographer for them. I wonder will she put up a fight though, she seems the fiery type!
i found a few awk sentences & spelling errors but aside that, everything else was okay. i normally tend to stay away from these stories bc they're repetitive & a lot of other writers use the plot line -- making it far from original. i think that some dialogue between cristi & caroline was a bit odd bc i don't see it in a realistic perspective. i just finished chap one so i'll finish the rest. good job with detail & the flow of your sentences