Dear Fate - Comments

I love it!!!!!! :D He is so cute!!! Update soon please :D x

I haven't read all of this yet but I think it is absolutely amazing! You are an amazing writer! I like that Holly uses sarcasm because I think it shows that she is strong minded. I like the way you spell Mae too.
But yeah so I really like the story, update soon? Please? x

I agree with the previous comment a little, i agree with the sarcasm bit and how mae is spelt, but only that. I've actually only read the first chapter so far but felt the need to comment :L I'll read the rest when i've commented!

I love the idea of you writing a story abou the titanic and two people's lives upon it. I love the titanic, the movie and the history, I find anything about it pretty much fascinating, it's kind of a little weird really. But naturally I love this story, I hope you keep updating.

It's a great idea, and reading 'my voyage on the titatnic' would likely help you a lot, both with the technicalities and the society of the time you've chosen to write in.
Firstly, Holly is much too well-spoken and it doesn't create the atmosphere of difference you want, so that you can highlight the similarities later.
For Olivia Mae (and in that time, Mae would not have been spelt like that, it's much too modern and not very English) to talk about how she's the richest person aboard the ship would have been seen to be very vulgar and rude, and for a young woman of her status she just would not speak in that way. Mentioning money would have been unacceptable in public and deemed very unladylike.
Although Holly has been in Olivia's service for a long time, (and Olivia should always be referred to as 'Miss') she would not, in any way, be outwardly rude or disrespectful towards Olivia. There are ways to show this disregard for her wealth other than outwardly stating it. The sarcasm Holly uses would have been enough to lose her her job.
Nit-picking, Holly and Olivia are unlikely to have shared a suite. Their party is small, but that is no reason to put them in the same room. Holly should have been put into third class, or slept on the sofa.
As I said, deep research into the society and standards of the time will help readers slip into the atmosphere of the story.