Water in My Lungs - Comments

  • First of all, the layout! Beautiful girl, I really loved it man.

    and now off to the story.
    I really loved the emotion to the story. Play Crack the Sky is an emotional song and I think you captured it pretty well. Basically Dan being in a band and always out on tour leaving his girlfriend alone and when he is home he is rarely sober, still leaving her alone.

    I loved that there wasn't exactly a happy ending, it was just an ending left to the imagination. You don't know if they will make it work. You don't know if Dan will get his shit together. You can feel the love between the two yet you think they shouldn't be together. It's a beautiful tragic story, much like the song.

    'And I wish for one more day to give my love and repay debts' is the line from the song that reminds me of the story. Dan begging for another chance. Also the the line 'I need you like water in my lungs' is a good line. Obviously you knew that, since that is the title of your story. Well done girl!

    Thank you so much for entering and sorry for the long ass comment hahaha.
    November 15th, 2011 at 01:08am
  • I liked it. I thought it was good of her to just straight up tell him she was leaving. I won't lie I cried a little. Great job :)
    November 15th, 2011 at 12:32am
  • I like this. :3 And just thinking about Dan crying made me want to cry! :( hahaha
    Good job, gurl. (:
    November 14th, 2011 at 07:41pm