Introspective - Comments

@ Rave on Spaceboy
I'm glad! It meant a lot to me. c:

@ human error.
This is the absolute best comment I have ever recieved. Thank you so much, I will definitely continue writing.

Okay, I'm back (and sober), but now I'm scared that this comment won't meet expectations. I'll try anyway.

I enjoyed the whole thing, even the second time around, but I have three little parts that I'm absolutely in love with.

That night I lied awake worrying about how I had never played the part, and wondering what part I would play if I had.
Then it donned on me how outrageously simple he must think I am, and an anger erupted in me, raw and exciting.
It scared me to realise that I was not in fact ''quietly cynical'' as he had said, but was in fact wildly restrained.
The last line especially gets me. Wildly restrained. The description is beautiful, but I think I like it so much because I relate to it so much. Most of the comments on this piece say something like that-- I relate to it, but I really cannot stress it enough. You gave me the words to describe the feeling.

Sometimes I observe a different type of friendship; it is a table occupied by people who say nothing at all.
The kind of relationship that causes one to wonder if they have everything or nothing at all.
This I like mostly because my best friend and I do this all the time. And my grandparents. My best friend and I cant be without each other, but my grandparents are praying for the other's death.

Perhaps I am merely a volatile combination of adult and child.
The dreary black and white logic of and adult, the over-analyzing frenzy of a developed mind, versus the daydream of children, the naive intrique that causes one to take the long way home, and stare out at strangers.
I don't know if this is my favorite or that first part I mentioned, but I'm leaning more toward this one. Naturally, the entire analysis of the child versus the adult has that 'Nothing Gold Can Stay' feel, but with a twist. Other than that, I don't know what else to say about this little bit other than it's incredibly sad and makes me want to go back to sitting on my bedroom floor surrounded by dolls.

Overall, the entire thing is beautiful. I wish I could string words together the way you do. Please, please keep writing. You're incredible.

@ human error.
I really appreciate that. I look forward to your official comment ::sheepish:

I'm gonna wait until morning to actually comment on this just because I'm on my phone right now, too, and I want my commet to be absolutely perfect.

Until then, just know that this read like poetry to me, and I now have the page bookmarked on my phone.

I absolutely love the way this is written, the rather... well, introspective tone to it, and the assumed brilliance of the speaker. You have a way with words. :)

SPACEBOY THEY'LL KILL ME BEFORE I'M DEAD AND GONE ANY WAY YOU CHOOSE ME IT WON'T BE LONG
watch me, death defy-y-y defile my lifeeeeee i don't neeedddd i don't careeee PLEASE i wanna go home, i wanna go home, i wanna go home, cuz when a lover aches, that's when a lover breaks, i wanna go home i wanna gooo homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

that was really brillian mate. Absolutely a pleasure to read. i must say that the way you wrote this piece reminds me of the author jane austen and how she wrote her novels. This form of writting is something i love to read. The sheer complexity of the piece is written in a way that says much clearer than if written in a simpiler form. Brilliant work man.

Wow. This is amazing. Honestly, I wasn't expecting it to be very good, but laksdjf wow. You blew me away with your words. The title fits this perfectly. The words you use are wonderful. It's like... I don't even know. Like you took all these words and fit them together perfectly, just like a puzzle. Your sentences seem so carefully constructed, yet they flow easily.

I can relate to this so much - I think that's a big part of why I enjoyed it so much. It's basically like the past three years of my life condensed into a small story.

You start off talking about friendship, which I liked. But then toward the end you talked more about childhood and growing up and simpler things. I think this would have been much better if you had stuck to just one. I know it's called "Introspection" and that's kind of an umbrella term that you can do pretty much anything with, but I think a little more organization in this would make it better. Maybe incorporate thoughts about childhood in the beginning, and thoughts about friendship at the end. Or maybe even cut the part about childhood (I think the best part if this by far is the beginning/middle anyway) and just leave the part about friendship. Maybe you could take the part about childhood and put it in a different story or drabble. It just seems that you veer off your original intent.

The end is cut off! I don't know if there were just a few more words, or a few more paragraphs. No idea what happened there. Also I was going to say, drabbles are more commonly thought of as 500 words or less, so I'd consider this a one-shot, not a drabble.

Some errors:
"The affection I have for my friends is detatched, but not heartless." - That sentence basically describes my entire social life.

"Then it donned on me how outrageously simple he must think I am," Donned should be dawned.
"None of them know any of this od course;" Typo - od is supposed to be of.
"...and it leads me to wonder how they could ever consiter one another..." Consiter should be consider.
"I like to think that my friendships have been more worthwhile, and I still smiles when I remember..." Smiles should be just smile.
"i watched him, not saying a word, as the moment seems to require." Capitalize the "i".
"Sooner or later I suspect I will no longer lie away at night, because sooner or later I suspect I will grow accustome to not knowing." I'm thinking away should be awake and accustome should be accustomed.

I liked this. It was deep, and I could definitely relate to most of it. (:

It made me cry. Its strange because your story confeys the emotions I felt over the past week. Thank you. Your story was awesome despite the errors but we all make mistakes but it would be better if you try to fix them.

This was wonderfully written. It seems you have a way of enticing the reader to want more as the process the story. The detail and emotions portrayed seem raw, pure—I loved it. The ending was missing a bit at the end, but it good nonetheless.

As for grammar and spelling mistakes, I found a couple, so I decided to share them with you:
- "...I raise my glass -half empty- to any individual..."—I suggest you find the EM dash, instead of using the hypen; it would look better.
- You typed out 'consiter' twice, and I can only presume that you meant to type 'consider'
- 'accustome' should be accustomed.
- 'adulr' should be spelled 'adult'. Unless you were typing in another word similar to adult.
- Is 'intrique' suppose to be 'intrigue'?
- The drabble ends with 'bli'. It's unfinished.
- Like my previous comment, I suggest you fix the paragraphs; it'll look all the prettier.

Despite the minimal amount of errors, they didn't detract from the story; it was, in all honesty, a great drabble that let me delve into the recesses of the character's mind. Introspective made me think of the various friendships I've accumulated since birth, and has given me a new view on things. Honestly, you're stories always end with me thinking—they're so very thought-provoking!