Tangibility - Comments

Ugh, your style of writing is absolutely beautiful and captivating. You make simple things sound so beautiful and intriguing. This is a short story, but you still find a way to pull in an audience with few words. The relationship and interactions between the characters feels genuine, they feel like something that really happened. Sometimes, authors try to create dialogue or character relationships and they feel forced, they also feel fictional. This doesn't at all. There is a lack of description with the characters, which someone before me has mentioned, that I also really enjoy. I love how this story doesn't include very detail necessarily, but still feels complete. It didn't leave me feeling like I was missing something, but still kept me wondering about the aftermath. You use beautiful vocabulary that perfectly captures the mood of your story. I thought this was very well written and is exactly what i enjoy in a short story. This was published ages ago, so I doubt you'll see it, but if you do, I would like you to know I absolutely enjoyed it and I can hardly imagine where your writing has taken off from since this was written.

I really like your style of writing. It's very simple but with a lot of details, I could feel the atmosphere as if I've been there. I think it perfectly describes some situations in a relationship when you don't know how you feel about the other person. I like the tension between them mostly because it seems so real, the dialogue, her struggle etc. She is fighting her own personality for his sake so that they don't fight unnecessarily and I really like that. Even though it's a short story, after reading it feels like it's complete, there is no vagueness or incompleteness and that is perfect. The couple itself is very interesting because you described some details about them but you didn't say their hair color, eye color etc. which is better I think because the reader can imagine them in any way he/she likes. (I image her with ginger hair and freckles :D)
I think that the headline is perfect. Simple, but it leaves a great impression, just like the story itself.
You have a great talent for writing and I think you should try to write something longer, maybe a novel or something similar. I will check out some of your other works, but I liked this one too much. :D

This was very nicely written. It might seem strange, but the slight tension between the couple is intriguing and I like how different they are. I am still wondering more about them, though.

How did they, how did they marry, etc. It is too bad I will never know. But this made a great read and I am lucky to have stumbled upon it!

You are a brilliant writer; I shall check out more of your stories. :)

The first paragraph makes for a really amazing introduction to the character. Your descriptions of seemingly small things add to the setting and to the story in general. The tension between them as they try to order is perfect, as is the dialogue. This is really amazing.