December 17th, 2011 at 12:33am
Wow, this was really interesting! The character of Catherine seems to be quite interesting, she reminds me of an old-fashioned woman, the kind who just wants to be a home-maker and spend her time looking after her husband, it's really unique and interesting to read.
Also, your style of writing is really enjoyable. You've got a good balance of action and description, but the description flows really well and some lines really stood out, I liked how you focused on some of the smaller things like how she washed the dishes and took her time and paid attention to detail. Also, how you described Catherine thinking about how her husband could die, it sent chills down my spine, you pulled it off really well. The same as when she was thinking about her husband with a mistress, it just drew me in.
The ending was really... unexpected, but brilliant. The way it slipped back from her dream world and showed her seeing the reality before slipping back into her own mind, it was written really well and was just, brilliant really (:
You did really well with the transitions between Catherine's thoughts, and you balanced those thoughts out well with the work she was doing. It felt natural. Within the first few paragraphs, I felt like I knew who Catherine was, and I enjoyed the narrative of her thoughts. That feeling only continued to grow as the story continued, and I felt sympathy for her because it was clear that she was unhappy.
She pretended to wipe a smudge off her rose tinted lips, slipping her pride back into her handbag. I try not to usually quote things, but I must say this has to be my favorite little bit, especially the last bit.
The ending was very surprising, of course. However, it didn't feel weird like some dream/reality stories do. The transition, although abrupt, made sense; you used the knocking on the door part well here. If I had felt sympathy for Catherine before, it doubled in the end. Again, the transition back into Catherine's head was flawless.
There's nothing to criticize about this piece, honestly. If there were any mistakes, I didn't catch them - I was too caught up in the content. And the content was beautiful. You've done a really wonderful job with this. :)