Fire and Rain - Comments

I like a lot about this, and there's some things I don't like about it. So I'll start with the good! I like the way the first chapter (and maybe more than that, I've only read the first) are written as letters. That's really good, and I love stories written in letters. It's always a fascinating way to get your story known. Just something that I really enjoy. I like the emotion, too. All the pet names and the way the letter is written, you can just see how much that person loved the person they're writing the letter to.

I don't particularly enjoy the layout. The background doesn't fit seamlessly over and over again and the fact that it isn't centered doesn't look so good with such contrasting backgrounds on the very back and on the story area. There's one sentence in the summary that you don't capitalize, right at the beginning of a paragraph. Besides that, I saw no other grammar and spelling mistakes in the first chapter.

Overall, good job!

In the first line, it should be than instead of then, but otherwise I really like the point you're getting across there, it's one of those sort of rings true and sort of poetic things I really like. At the beginning of the second paragraph, the t needs to be capitalized and it would make more sense with this instead of the.

Again, wrong use of then/than -> stronger [than] the pills. For the most part, when you use then you probably want to use than, aha, then regards time and than is for comparing like her knowing better than he does, comparing the two, you see? :)

It's an interesting concept, but I like it, how immensely hypocritical he is and how selfish are the things I really like about him because it shows how human he is and how imperfect, which gives him that sort of relatable edge. It's sad though, to have the one that he depended on gone and it really makes me sympathize for him too, which is good. I like him even though he's a little twisted, y'know?

I thought it was really cool too, how in the end he makes it seem like he's the hero and she's the damsel that needs the saving, but when you get her perspective it's the entire way around entirely. It makes it seem like she's the selfish one but he is- that was a cool twist!

Well, aha, shit. You really don't make this predictable at all! I'm actually really interested to see what he does from here! :)

Hina's here to comment! <3 I shall read all three chapters because I love you. <3

I love the layout! It makes me think James is burning the letters he writes. O.o But that's just me thinking this. XD

You know what... this entire story is so cute and sad. I hope James and Taylor can pull through in the end. It's obvious that they care for each other. I love this story, Lacee. I am subbing!

Hina's here to comment! <3 I shall read all three chapters because I love you. <3

I love the layout! It makes me think James is burning the letters he writes. O.o But that's just me thinking this. XD

You know what... this entire story is so cute and sad. I hope James and Taylor can pull through in the end. It's obvious that they care for each other. I love this story, Lacee. I am subbing!

Yeah, what everyone else said about the typos^.

I liked the background of the story content, but I think that the actual background could be a little better. As for the way its written, it's fantastic. I've never had a relative or someone close addicted to drugs, so I can't relate it to that much, but I can sort of understand why James doesn't want the other to be addicted. It's a great story, and if you do update, let me know.

I'm not incredibly fond of the layout, but I will say that it does fit the story well so far, because of the content and the title, so even though it doesn't suit my taste that does not mean it needs to be changed!

I like the letter style and I wonder if what will be kept up in the future, or if that is going to change? If you don't change it, I would have to suggest that you include more background information. From the summary I know some things, but I'm left wondering a lot and after two chapters, I feel as if I should know more.

I like the two chapters and I am very interested to see what is going on with their relationship. I'd like to see how they met and what happened before the time of the letters. Good job leaving me with questions, though I do think some of them should have been answered already.

My only suggests are more background information and there are some grammar mistakes in the summary that can easily be fixed. Overall, good job!

First off- great song choice. My mother is a huge James Taylor fan, so I was familiar with it.
That being said, I felt like you really related your story to the song very well. You put faces to those lyrics and gave them stories, and that is truly what song fiction is all about, so bravo.
I loved how real this all felt. Obviously, since they were letters, I think the goal was to make it feel very real, but, nonetheless, it is refreshing when a reader can really believe a story.

These two chapters are so night and day it was shocking. When I read the first one, I was feeling sympathetic to James. He obviously loved Taylor and didn't want her to fall into the same hole he had. Then, when Taylor wrote her letter, my opinion changed entirely. James seemed like the one with the big problems, and the loose words. I feel like I would flip flop back and forth with each letter.

Something in me tells me that they might even be the same person. This could just be me making up crap, but I can almost imagine a Jekyll and Hyde situation. The names kind of made me go that route. Either way, this was really good, and I hope you always continue writing!

Wow. Lacee, other than the typo's that the above comment-er found, I just...This hit home hard, I could relate to everything he said. I almost felt like he was talking to me, that's how personal this felt. This was written beautifully. I just...wow and the layout is just perfect for the story; it fits so nicely together and the words weren't hard to read at all because of just how well you positioned it. Well done.

Summary:

"the story is about two people..."
*The

I like your summary. It's simple. It's descriptive, but it doesn't give too much away.
The only part of it that I don't like is the first sentence because I wanna change 'note' to 'tone', but then I guess it doesn't mesh as well with your story :)

Chapter One:

I'm not sure, but I think because 'sweetheart' is being used as her pet name here, that it should be capitalised.

"...snorting pills everyday."
That really confused me, because it sounds painful and wrong. I always thought you swallowed pills and snorted powder, or maybe crushed up the pills but technically, that's a powder. I don't know a lot about drugs, I'm just saying haha. You could be right, but it just sounds strange :) I think you need to mix that sentence up a bit to explain it more so that retards like me don't stop and think whoa, hold on...

"... I don;t see why you just can't quit."
*don't

"You are stronger then the pills, I know this."
"...you know this better then I do."
*than
'Then' is time. It happened then. 'Than' is like, an amount. Stronger than this. Better than you.

"I didn;t know how bad addiction could be..."
*didn't

"You couldn;t even tell..."
*couldn't

"All the people that made you go to rehab had know idea that you were my rehab."
*no idea

I don't like this James character. I think it's a little stupid of him to expect her to stay clean and sober whilst he is not. I mean, what if HE is HER reason to stop? What if she just needs him, too. Bleh. But he might be alright when he's with her... I'm hoping eventually.

Most of the grammatical and spelling mistakes could be fixed if you wrote this on word, or ran it through a spell checker :) Because a lot of it is just hitting the keys in the wrong spots.