Nothing Like Ice Cream - Comments

Wow I'm so glad you were one of the winners! This was amazing. I can't even pick out any of my favorite lines because there were too many. I'm still not sure if I get the title, but whatever ^_^

Her emotions were so relatable to anyone who's ever gone through a rough relationship/break up. Serious kudos to you; I'm still blown away.

I love love love the banner! It’s a stunning picture.

I really like the imagery you begin with, it’s a powerful start and although the idea may be overused, your words paint it fresh. I like the way you have the wind speak properly it throws the reader in with the characters and makes it more realistic.

I like the length of this, because you put a lot of emotion behind each scene. You’re able to go into great detail without disrupting the plot or overusing words which is a great effect. I think you explained the relationship well – a lot would be lost from more explanation as we wouldn’t have the mystery to help the piece along. However, the name is pretty confusing as to how it would link to the story, that’s the only fault.

Well, this was an interesting little piece. I liked the imagery you used with the wind and the storm. I don't really get why the title is "Nothing Like Ice Cream" because you don't mention ice cream at all throughout the story, or even hint at it or anything. It seems kind of random and unrelated.

Whether you want to explain their relationship more or not is up to you. It just depends on the point you, personally, wanted to get across when writing this. I do think you could have get this a little more emotion. It seemed a little flat in that area, and I think that's what this needs - not more description of their relationship. You could add something so that the reader knows how much she loved this guy. She's obviously in a lot of pain because of their breakup, so I think you should give more reasoning to why she's feeling that way. Like, "Oh, I gave him my heart and he stomped on it," yadda yadda.

Overall, though, I liked it. It was kind of poetic in a sad way, and I liked your word choice for a lot of the sentences.

Im not quite sure what the title was. If the title was "Rain, rain, come and stay", then i think it fit perfectly, however, if it was "Nothing like ice cream". then it did not fit at all. Sorry for my stupidity.

On the other hand, i think that you are a really good writer. You are clearly, very easily, able to get your point across, without directly stating it, which, i believe is the better way to write, so, kudos to you.

I think that the final couple lines, when she said she had her revenge, but she was still cold, was a very powerfull line. It shows how much she hates herself for losing him, and how she hates him for cheating on her, or whatever he did, that was just my first assumption.

I find no problems with the story, and i give you two thumbs up. :D

Very, very interesting. I loved the imagery I got from the storm outside and the wind in the room. You didn't so much need to describe the room because the one detail of the newspaper over the window really just did that for you. It's up to the reader after that to just put the room together and its easier to do after that.

I think that while maybe a woman in real life would not have ignored the storm outside because of a heartbreak and the exhaustion caused from that, it is the perfect thing to write about. It became totally realistic because of the way you wrote it here.

Overall, you did a really good job and I enjoyed reading it.

I loved this! I love reading about the aftermath after a break-up, it's so easy to relate to and when it's done well it's heartbreaking to read. And this was written really well.

I loved the way Evelyn just ignored the storm going on outside because of how she felt. It was quite unique to see a character getting too much sleep instead of too little, so that was really well done as well. I liked the introduction to the photo and how it led her back to thinking about her relationship and how it ended. I thought the fact that the break-up wasn't over dramatic was really good as well, it was explained nicely and was quite sad to read.

I really liked the end, and how the coldness was what linked back to the title, it was quite clever. Well done :)