Winter Infatuation - Comments

This was super cute!
You're a really great writer!
I'm jealous!

There were a few grammar mistakes, and I feel like a priss for mentioning it but I'm in that english major mood so I apologize for that. xD

It wasn't hard to read with them though. So many people fuss over that kind of stuff but I know for a fact or minds register wha'ts meant to be said because of context. :D

Poor Darren being ambushed by her family! I hate family time. I used to have the same problem when visiting my grandmother. She was a cheek pincher hardcore. You'd have rosy cheeks not from the cold but from her violent fingers >.>

“Don’t make eye contact with anyone. I’ll be back with drinks.” BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA xD It's like battle ground rule number one. oh my word :O I want a big family like this now... And then then THEN you blame him for making eye contact with someone xD I'm so enjoying this moment, it's like three sentences long but it has me laughing so hard. Bravo :O

GET SOME DARREN *squeeeeeee* Mistle toe kisses are the best :O

That was cute. xD Utterly cute.

I'm going to be the blonde that states this is a fan fiction yeah? Hockey team maybe, I don't know hockey, but I know stories :D

I love the relationship between Amy and Darren. You can feel their friendship because of their friendly jabs and their understanding of each others boundaries. They share in personal jokes and converse so easily, You did a really good job! I love your flow of writing and it's balance between conversation and action. It's nicely done.

You've thrust us right into a moment that has a monumental amount of happy and sad moments weighing on top of it and we still feel the fleeting understanding of where she is. The fact that she's really sad about the text she got, what implications come with it, and what not. This is really nice! I applaud thee :D A lot of people can't start in a moment without all that mushy build up to show where it's coming from and why it's such a catastrophic moment to begin with.

"Darren! Get this goddamn endearing shit off my face." hahahahahahahahahahaha. This line, makes me giggle. Cause that's totally something I would say. Their conversation is very smooth and I like their wit.

The gentle scrape of skates filled the entire park to the brim with the excitement and life of winter. Very visual. I can hear and feel the skates on the ice, and the only understanding I have of this is from movies. The almost illeteration of "scrape of skates" has a beautiful ring to it, and I like that you used "scrape". :)

Hands wrapped around steaming mugs of too expensive drinks, the bombarding worries of the usual season at bay while patrons enjoyed the coffee they couldn’t afford. Turning my cup in circles, I avoided Darren’s stare. This is what I like about both you and Holly, which is rather forward of me so correct me if I'm wrong, but there's a negative feel to it. In all it's glory it's a gorgeous image, the drinking of warm beverages in the winter, the warmth, the security, but the right connection of specific words gives this image a bit of a sarcastic and dismal feel. Which it should have, seeing as that douche just called her out in front of those people. I really like the touch of darkness to the light image. :)

*flaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll*
I might have to reread this like 7 times before I fully comprehend it xD
Ahh I love it! It's so cute and lovely and just great and ughhh.
You're such a great writer <3