December 13th, 2011 at 08:46am
Your subject matter isn't something I usually read, but I really enjoyed it. It was a nice breath of fresh air.
However, the sentence structure was a bit choppy to me, (it could flow a bit more easily). And everything sort of happened quickly. I think it could use more detail; it felt a bit too short for my tastes.
“Matilda, you have a pumpkin instead of a tree. This isn’t healthy!”
I think because I don't know too much of what Kyle's personality is, I found this sentence a bit odd. Sure, she isn't having a conventional sort of Christmas, but to go as far as saying it isn't healthy, seems a little dramatic to me.
Despite all of that, again, I did enjoy it. It was creepy, yet the way you portrayed Sam made me think of him as being adorable, aha. Good job.
I've never read anything like this, to be honest, I feel like I should shake your hand for coming up with this oneshot.