The Fisherman - Comments

I really liked this. I love the way the man was described; it wasn't so much physical, but all of the things that you said about him really painted a picture in my head and that's the best way to show and not tell. I don't like to be bogged down with physical descriptions of things and to just be able to create him in my mind without doing that is pretty impressive.

The only thing I don't understand is the banner; in my mind, I picture older people for this story. The couple, that is. The image seems to be of a younger girl and it doesn't really seem to fit with the story, to me. I could have misread, though.

Overall, great job!

The mood of this for me seemed to be calm throughout the story. Even though it mentions about his wife. He seemed content with her death. And how that tree reminded him of her. Almost if the tree represents the tree of life. As with life also comes death. This is was very enjoyable to read thank you. :)

First, this was turned in before Christmas which definitely earns you some brownies points. Also, the layout is really pretty and I like that it's simple but eye-catching at the same time. That also earns you some brownies points with me.

You kind of shifted the tense you were in from time to time, at least that's how it seemed. I don't know if it was intention but luckily, it wasn't too out there that it made the story awkward.

I do like your descriptions a lot and they paint a very vivid image in my head of the fisherman. I love the way you describe him and the way you talk about his love for his wife (I imagine she passed away?) Your writing also flows really well and it made this easy to read.

The lake cracks violently beneath him; he can feel the cold, black water against his backside. If he wanted, he could save himself from being swallowed whole.

That was my favorite line of the entire one-shot. <3

Overall, this is excellent. Fantastic job and good luck. :)

wow. that all i can say. wow. holy crap wow. i love it.

Oh, how I fell hard for this fisherman, so hard in love. He reminds me of Hagrid, jolly, cheery, fun to be around with so many interesting things to say, but with such a deep, hidden and traumatic past. I was just sad when he put himself on that lake: sad for a wonderful loss, sad for his mind, his life, his past - but I was happy that he was going home.

I didn't check the contest you entered this into, though I am confident you will do well. It was well written, informative, detailed and moving. Well done.

I know you said don't comment on the layout but I like it. It's simple :)

I love your description.

oh! how they were soft.
I love that line. I don't know why I just do.

Also I love how he's having flashbacks with his curent situation but it gets a little confusing.

Your detail of the character adds to his character and that's different but more realistic. Like how rough his hands are; it shows he is a hard working man. This man reminds me of my father which gives the character a very real feel to me and I think lots of readers will think the same of this man.

The ending is sad in reality yet... hopeful... I believe that is the word I am looking for.

Although you are sad he is dying you are happy for him because he believes that in death he will be okay again.

Over all this was a good one-shot. It got all the emotions it seemed it was trying to show us.