It was no secret that all Zacky Baker wanted from girls was sex, but the girls still came flocking to him. And Koty certainly was no exception. She wanted to be able to say she'd slept with Zacky Baker, she wanted to be one of the elite. One of 'those' girls. And it would happen tonight. — First off, let me say that I really loved those lines. I like how you described the girls that Zacky had slept with as one the populars, the girls that other girls wanted to be. I just... I knew right then that it was going to be a pretty good oneshot :) I liked how Zacky tried to teach Koty guitar (which, by the way, love the name. I love having a guys name and changing it to a feminine version of it!), and I thought that it was going to branch off into something different and eventually have her learn guitar, but it twisted off into a completely different path that I enjoyed just as much. I also liked how after the failed guitar lesson, it'd go straight to sex, and nothing more. The way you described Zacky's relationships with the girls at the school made it a bit more realistic, that there are actual guys who think like that in the world. It was interesting how she fought back against Zacky, and eventually he brought her to his group of friends at the park. I honestly thought that Koty would be getting with Matt or Jimmy in the end, but you added Brian into the mix. And I'm such a sucker for Brian, so obviously you've got brownie points there. :) The way Brian and Koty interacted with each other made it seem like two people who had an instant attraction to each other, and I liked that a lot. However, I have one thing to say about this piece. I thought it was a very, very good work of art and I would love it if this could somehow turn into a story and have the whole Brian-and-Zacky feud going on with each other. And maybe add a bit of drama into the mix. But I'm getting off topic, aren't I? I sort of wish that Brian and Koty hadn't hit it off so abruptly, and I can see why you made it the way it was because it was a oneshot, but it seemed a tiny bit rushed. That's the one thing that I didn't like — well, I also didn't care for the bolded text of the story title in the content, but that's just me, and it's nothing major so it doesn't distract from it — and I thought that this was really good and refreshing to read. I'd definitely be interested if you did decide to branch this off into a story. :)
I liked how Zacky tried to teach Koty guitar (which, by the way, love the name. I love having a guys name and changing it to a feminine version of it!), and I thought that it was going to branch off into something different and eventually have her learn guitar, but it twisted off into a completely different path that I enjoyed just as much. I also liked how after the failed guitar lesson, it'd go straight to sex, and nothing more. The way you described Zacky's relationships with the girls at the school made it a bit more realistic, that there are actual guys who think like that in the world.
It was interesting how she fought back against Zacky, and eventually he brought her to his group of friends at the park. I honestly thought that Koty would be getting with Matt or Jimmy in the end, but you added Brian into the mix. And I'm such a sucker for Brian, so obviously you've got brownie points there. :) The way Brian and Koty interacted with each other made it seem like two people who had an instant attraction to each other, and I liked that a lot.
However, I have one thing to say about this piece. I thought it was a very, very good work of art and I would love it if this could somehow turn into a story and have the whole Brian-and-Zacky feud going on with each other. And maybe add a bit of drama into the mix. But I'm getting off topic, aren't I? I sort of wish that Brian and Koty hadn't hit it off so abruptly, and I can see why you made it the way it was because it was a oneshot, but it seemed a tiny bit rushed. That's the one thing that I didn't like — well, I also didn't care for the bolded text of the story title in the content, but that's just me, and it's nothing major so it doesn't distract from it — and I thought that this was really good and refreshing to read.
I'd definitely be interested if you did decide to branch this off into a story. :)