Just a Little Trinket - Comments

@ laredo.
Thank you, took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with it and trying to get everything set.

You know, you wrote this and I'm kind of jealous of you having the ability because I've tried this in every Creative Writing class I've taken on several different occasions and I just can't do it.

I think it was amazing and heartfelt how you wrote about this one singular object that meant so much to you. You described the pocket watch so well, and I think we can all relate to having something that means a lot to us, even if it seems a little silly to other people.

Your writing is wonderful, and I like how you left it a little mysterious. It added a nice effect. :)

I think this was really adorable and heartfelt. Writing about one singular object can sometimes be difficult, but you've managed it so well here. You've kept the main focus as the pocket watch, rather than going off on a tangent about the main character and I love that. The fact that you've created a convincing story around an inanimate object is really commendable, so well done on that. The fact that it's a small object with such big meaning to the narrator is definitely interesting. I think we all have that one object that means so much to us and that just makes it all the more realistic. There could have been a little more hitory, but drabbles are known for being mysterious anyway so it does work as is.

I'll be announcing the winners of the contest at some point within the next week, so good luck!

Here from Comment Swap~

I love the idea of this story; it's adorable and clever. However, you probably could have stood to go into a little more detail about the history of the pocket watch, as well as the emotional tie your narrator has to it. Other than that, you've got a very pretty style of writing, but watch out for grammar. I also love how you don't just come right in and say it's a pocket watch right off the bat. Keep up the great work. xx

I love the story!! One thing is is the layout i love it, also i liked the details you have. I also like that you wrote about a pocket watch. They also seem to grab me. I dont have any dislike about the story.

I really love this. I think I'm personally very drawn in by detailed descriptions of tiny objects, because the attention to detail and the emotions related to said object fascinate me. I like how you seem to cut around what this object is - I don't think you ever said that it was a pocket watch - which leaves more up to the imagination of the reader.

Dribble Me a Drabble Contest: I like the idea of the layout, but it’s got some kinks. I really like this photo, but I’m not sure it works as a repetition background. Also, the title, while readable with strain, is hard to see. It matches well, though. I think if you turned the photo into a banner and put the title on top of it, it would look gorgeous. Let me know if you’d like some pointers, I’d be more than happy to help!

I love how you never really address that the trinket is a pocket watch. You do say that it’s a watch, but you don’t begin with a real introduction to it; you just jump in. That sets up a good, personable tone. Then comes the history, which I like a lot; I’m a sucker for European history, and the royals are fascinating, so brownie points for that. I like the way you approached the significance of the watch. I included this picture in the contest because I think it’s really pretty—the very shallow way the others in your story view it. It’s realistic, as is the daughters selling everything the queen had for want of money. I also love the idea of a watch being a symbol of memories. I mean, what better object is there to signify cherished times past? And the concept of being buried with the pocket watch. The watch eventually stops, as do our lives. Eek, I can’t even explain how much I love this story’s focus.

Very, very cool.

Requirements Met: 500 word cap, word count on summary, link to contest in summary/author’s note, photo in layout/author’s note, readable layout, grammar and spelling

Brownie Points: creativity bonus, original layout

AFTER THOUGH: I would change the title to: Just a Little Trinket. Just so it has proper grammer. :D

Layout & Summary
I like this layout. I don't know why seeing as it is not much different from the other one I commented on. But I would have the same thing to say about the background picture: change it to the banner instead. I like the link color, I like the dotted line because you really don't see it used much. The thing I would definitly change is the color of the story and chapter title.
I really like the summary, it is short and sweet and to the point. The only complaint I have about it is this:
(even if it is a pocket-watch).
Even if it is a pocket-watch.
Get rid of the brackets.

Chapter
grandmothers'
There does not need to be an apostrephy

And she did; more than they could ever dream.
There does not need to be a semi-colon

jewel ever single
every

So as someone
So, as someone

time ago; I'll forever see it as a piece of my history
time ago, I'll forever see it as a piece of my history

much really; just a trinket
much really. Just a trinket

I loved this! It was very cute and simple. I am such a fan of people that can pull off drabbles and you did. I love the history of the watch and that you gave it to the readers in such a short amount of time. You left no lingering questions, and tied up all strings nicely.
Good luck with the contest, if it is still going!