Vain Redemption - Comments

I forgot to mention: I loved the description you used in the way you described your characters, what they smelled like, without giving away too much about how they look, which I always like because I like to imagine how the characters look in a story. Most authors can only describe a characters, which gets kinda boring after a while, and they never tell you how the characters sees things, or what they smell, or decribe the setting with enough detail. But you give just enough without giving too much of a long explanation and boring people. I think my favorite line was: "Short and stocky with clothes that smelled like the refuse pit." I liked that because I could get an image in my head, and that''s always a good thing to happen when you're reading a story

Wow, this is great. I usually don't like texts like that, but it fit the story. I liked the banner, and now onto the story itself:

I found a few errors, but nothing big, but here they were: "That the council wont be the only ones meeting." You forgot to add an apostrophe on the word 'won't'. And this line: "You realize the consequences of the actions you're about the execute, don't you?" I think you meant 'about to execute'. Idk, but that stood out to me for some reason. That was all I saw. Like I said, nothing big.

As for the plot, I liked it so far. It's got mystery, and it keeps me wondering what Angeline will do, what the gadget was, and what they're plotting. And from the summary, I see it's a romance. I love romances, so I can't wait to see where that comes into play. The revolution that I assume they're trying to start sounds like it'll make for a great historical story. Is this set in a specific time period? For some reason it remind me of Les Miserables. I don't know why, it just does. Anyways, this is a very original, interesting idea, and I can't wait to see more! =)

Wow.... This seems like it's going to be a magnificent story! The first and second chapters were ver mysterious, which I liked. There were a few grammatical errors here and there, but nothing TOO big. Also, I saw one or two words/letters out of place throughout the text. But again, nothing that was stood out too much.

I really like your style of writing, and I'm interested in seeing where you take this story. It seems very original for this site. Great job!