Sharpen Your Knives and Prepare for War - Comments

I loved it and you made me laugh with your side notes over your celebrity crush :) My celebrity crush if Frankie ;D
Either way, it was awesome, as usual, and I hope you update soon!

~Pansy Xo

Aw, All of that was so sad ;_;
so you aren't sisters with anna...
Wow, didn't expect that.
Update soon

~Pansy Xo

Oh my gerard, I started crying while reading your writing. HOW'D YOU READ MY MIND? The things you mentioned, the therapy, depression, your mother finding you a disappointment ... It reminds me so much of my life! My mother always tells me that I need to straighten up, always nagging and yelling at me for this or that, when I'd much rather be listening to MCR or A7X and reading. I went to therapy years ago and she told my mother I was just an attention-seeker and that a girl as young as I was(7) couldn't be depressed. But I've come to realize that the suicidal thoughts are NOT my over-active imagination and that I really WOULD NOT care if I died tomorrow. I realize I need to become happier, but what business does anyone have, trying to decode my thoughts and actions? I could never open up to a therapist or my parents nor do I have any friends trustworthy enough to talk to. My life is shit.

I love that you updated! Is is wrong to be interested in reading about someone's life? Heh, I don't think it is. What state do you live in? I live in Florida...
Anyways still love learning more about you. (is that creepy?)
Update soon

~Pansy Xo

I'm not going to give you sympathy because everyone hates it, so do I.

What I am going to say is, we have a lot in common. I'm not going to say I understand because truth be told, there is nobody that will ever understand you. No one ever completely understands one another. Yes, I'm depressed, no, a doctor didn't diagnose me, but I know I am. I just know. No, I don't have a therapist but even if I did I would do exactly what you do, Muranda. I will never open up.

I've had so many 'friends' abandon me. And I'm pretty sure my mom hates me because she always talking about how nice and sweet my older sister is, she never says anything about me. I also hate myself and I'm always putting myself down.

I understand the food thing too. It makes sense to me, some people would say you're crazy for hating and loving food, but I know what you're talking about. I also write to vent but I don't post it. Ever. Because I know my sister will read it and question me. I don't cut but I scratch myself with the tips of safety pins. I'm pretty sure my dad hates me too. He's always talking about my sister being so perfect.

Yes, I love my sister but it hurts knowing I can never be as 'perfect' as her. I'll never my mother and father as proud as her. I have no one to vent to except my journal. I just wish I could tell them I'm sorry for being so ugly and stupid. But I can't. I just can't.

Also My mom's always going on and on about how homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to get married and I always get mad and defend them but she's always saying I love gays but I just believe in rights. My parents don't like the music I listen to or the things I believe in.

Worst of all she always says gays and lesbians are okay but that transsexuals and bisexuals are disgusting. Truth be told I think I might be bi, but I'm not sure. But If I am, I will never be able to come out. She'll just call me disgusting and probably disown me...But I'm not sure if I am, I really hope I'm not because if I am it'll just be another disappointment.
I just wish one day they'll realize how I feel and how suicidal I really am. My dad will probably call me crazy. He always says that only stupid white people do shit like that. (I'm Mexican by the way).
I don't think he sees that anyone of any race would do it, suicide themselves...

Wow, now I feel like complete and utter shit. Anyways, you should update soon. I would like to get to know you better. Since you're only one year older than me I think talking to you would be easier than talking to someone twice my age.(Referring to the fact, If I ever get a therapist)

~Pansy Xo

this is sad, it feels true. that sounds weird, but it does. I get it, maby, what your doing, why, i do it sometimes, never my wrists, they scare me. my face though, i scratch it with my long and sharp nails in my sleep, cuz i dream about bleeding. so my subconchious makes me bleed.
find something to hold on to, even if its torn away keep it close
thats what i did
thats how i get through

I like your writing style a lot! I was very intreged. <3