Big Bad Wolf - Comments

Your story was amazing. Some of the things I didn't understand though. For instance, how she was in the house looking in the room for her grandma and then she's suddenly outside? I read over it three times and still don't get how she went from being in the house in the bedroom with her grandma, straight to that. So if you could clear that up, that would be great.
I do agree with bodysnatcher on some things, though. I mean, how did they hear her? How close were they? I know screams can travel if it's quiet enough in the woods and it's the right place but I am wondering how close.
I'd also like to know how the hell they beat him up? I mean, he's a werewolf for god's sake! He can't take on two full grown men? Pussy werewolf! x.x Sorry, don't mean to offend you or your story but he does sound a little weak in that sense.
How it ended so abruptly also put me off. It was a good ending I suppose, with it just cutting off and going straight into the whole them at home. I still wonder though, who's kid is it?! It is Matt's or did the werewolf get her pregnant?
The story sort of confused me but at the same time, I loved it! Your detailing is utterly amazing in the way you flowed with your words and just did an all around great job with this. I didn't honestly get the whole thing until the very end with the whole "Little Red Riding Hood" so that made the story even better for me because it kept my total interest and it was just an all around good story. Keep up the good work (:

To be honest, I actually thought that one of the guys, like Johnny or Brian, would be the wolf in the fiction and to hear that it wasn't, kind of disappointed me. I would have enjoyed it a bit more if she got together with the werewolf, too, but that's just me, and I'm a bit messed up when it comes to plot lines involving my boys.
I liked — no, loved the description put into this. It gave me a clear, concise image of where the setting was and what was happening, which most people fail to include in their pieces of work. I also liked the name you chose for your character, because it was different and not a lot of people — strippers and prostitutes excluded — are actually named Lola. I liked that about your character. I also liked how she sort of gave up trying to fight the beast.
How the boys could hear her scream makes me wonder how close they were to her grandmother's cabin-type-thing, whatever she lived in, and that had me a bit curious. The line that Johnny said about "what if it's her and her boyfriend just having crazy sex?" made me giggle, because I could totally picture him saying that with a hint of amusement in his tone.
I don't know if your main character was a fan of Avenged Sevenfold or not, and it kind of bothered me that it wasn't really brought up in the work. It seemed a little weird how Jimmy and Matt just beat the guy to a pulp and how Lola accepted them so quickly. It didn't seem all that real to me — if she wasn't a fan, that is.
The end kind of stopped abruptly, which I wasn't too fond of and I wished that it could've been held out a bit longer, like Matt saying that they could pick out a different book together that Mommy could read or Lola doing the same. This also brings me back to my first statement, how I wished that it was Johnny or Brian being the wolf and Lola eventually getting with them for some unknown reason. It would've seemed more interesting to me, had that happened. I did like this, though, so thank you for that and I was impressed with how you handled Little Red Riding Hood. :)