when i first saw the title come up as the story i needed to read in comment swap my mind jump straight to 500 days of summer (which i's watch only a few days ago). I think you should read through the story again there are just some slight mistakes where you type the wrong word or missed typing something, like here "Sure. Jay B. Get hear that desk." I assume you meant to right her? The way you write talking speech is a little different to everything I've read you uses a lot of full stops when you should be using commas. Your characters seem life like, the mix well together. I was a little confused with their unique ways of talking so often had to read things more then once to understand. But the story does look promising
October 4th, 2014 at 01:07am