Countdown to Murder - Comments

This was amazing and here I am left in suspense :) lol cant wait you should totally update :D

Just read the first chapter. This is really suspenseful. I'm loving it.

OMG AMAYA I LOVE IT!!!!!!

I am subscribing

This story is freaking me out

It is a mixture of Saw, Scooby Doo, Hunger Games and Resident Evils, I cam see you using small bits from each thing.

The dogs and the glass tubes with people in them I see you have got from Resident Evils, its cool cause you have made it different and unique to the way they did it.

I love the flashback and I love how you are showing that Mia and Leon clearly like each other, but your making them trying to hide it, I think thats cute :D

And when Mia killed that woman, I saw what you were describing, thats cool, btu it made me feel sick XD, oh well

Gosh, who is the murderer? Who took them to that place? Now they are gone from the village does that mean everyone in it is going to die? SO MANY QUESTIONS NEED TO BE ANSWERD!!!!!

Thats why we all need you to keep on writing this!!!!!! Its AMAZING!!!!

I'll admit I sped read this, but don't take that as meaning I missed anything. Your story is very awesome and I will be subscribing. Only thing is, some of your paragraphs turn to run-ons which is normally a bad thing, but to me it doesn't take anything from the story. If you can hold a reader to your writing with the surprise of events, that is good enough.

This is pretty good. It reminds me a bit of the book House and the first Saw movie. This was well-written and you describe the settings around Mia really well, which is good because it's a horror story. I like the flashbacks and this kept me on the edge of my seat wanting to see what happens next, so update soon.

The part where Mia shoots the lady in the head was a bit too graphic for my taste, but that's just me, and I'm interested in the people in the glass tubes and why they're there and what happened with them. I really liked that part, because it seemed really original, and the dogs do too.

I'm also wondering who the killer is. I'm kinda thinking it's Joel, but anyways, I can't wait to read the rest of this. This has a lot of suspense, so keep it up and update soon!

First I gotta say
Your summary was interesting.

Now with your story
Not bad to say the least, I quite enjoyed it
I love how its a easy readable murder type story.
It kinda reminds me of those Saw movies and a little bit of the Hunger Games in way.
I also enjoyed the flashbacks,
You have a good mixture of dialogue and descriptions

I can't wait to see more
Keep up the good work
<3

O.O That dog seems like a dog I've encountered once, only it was a samoyed.... a mean one at that.

I love the little flashback. It shows show caring Mia is of her friends and that whole thing with Leon is cute. I"m glad she finally found Leon. Now it's making me wonder if they'll have to kill each other in order to survive? :O

Don't leave me hanging, Amaya! You have to add more! :D

HOLY CRAP!

I was not expecting that! This third chapter started off real strongly which is really good! :D And like usual, you put in a lot of good imagery.

I was not expecting Mia to kill someone. Seriously, I didn't. XD But I like the cliffhanger. I'm still getting chills from this story, by the way, :)

I hope to read more soon. :)

I think there are a couple of grammatical errors here and there, and I believe you rushed the beginning a bit but other than that, I really enjoyed what I read. I like that Mia is set on finding out who the murderer is in the very first chapter. I think you've definitely got a good idea on your hands and you should keep up the good work. :)

Beginning:

I think that the last three paragraphs would have made a more compelling beginning to your story, and then maybe put the characterization and back story after it like, "It all started when. . ." It would still make sense. It would also draw your readers in better. Getting your main characters knocked out is a great way to begin a story, by the way.

The Start:
Okay, hand going through spike? Ouch. I got to hand it to you for gruesome imagery.

Interesting premise, "kill or be killed". I wasn't expecting that from the beginning.

I think that you could get away with a little more detail in this chapter though. It's a little short, especially if there's gore.

First Blood:

"Mia was quite tall for her age" How old is Mia? How old are her friends? Being village detectives, it was kind of implied that her and her friends were adults in the beginning. Are they teenagers playing at detectives? That would explain the Scooby Doo thing a bit more.

I think you have an interesting idea for a story, over all. I've never read Hunger Games, but it seems to be evident from some of your comments that you were inspired by that. I'd be interested in reading more.

AMAYA! It's all your fault. I went to sleep about having a nightmare where I fell down a hole and my hand got sliced by a wooden stake. :( Now your scaring me AND Hanna meanie.

Dang! I checked my e-mail and saw a new chapter :D Keep up the great work!

Let me guess. You like Scooby Doo and hunger games. And the dialogue does like this.

"See you have to capitalize the first letter of the first word and you press shift then dash button for dialogue"
But good job otherwise

Oh wow. O.O That's a creepy thing to be waking up to. This chapter is giving me the chills. I love the description and imagery you're using so far. :)

You really know how to keep my interest. This story is really interesting and it....it's amazing! Of course, I'm shuddering from the suspense and scariness your story is giving off. Good job! =3

0.0 I love the title and the summary. Even the layout is pretty. Everything so far is screaming mystery and suspense. I'm wondering who was murdered now. ^.^

You defintely got me excited. Onward to the first chapter!

This was a nice start! I would try, possibly, spacing out the paragraphs so that it'll be easier to read. Like this:

Mia was sitting, looking out the window, she sighed, in her hand was a cut out from a newspaper, another murder.

'Can't believe another ones dead.'

Out of the shadow came a tall and muscular man with blond hair and bright blue eyes, he walked towards Mia and put a hand on her shoulder 'But we will find them.'

:) Some people like to be able to see where one paragraph ends and another begins. But other than that, you did a good job. :) I'm subbing to this story. :)