It'll All Turn Out Okay, One Day - Comments

I like it, Kea. Amazing writing. I feel like he is talking to me or that I am standing right there, like a bug or something...bad analogy but, anyway, great job.

This was really interesting- and surprising. I like it! I love the Spanish incorporated in it- I had to look a couple things up, but there are some things I understood too, and it flowed well in the story. Awesome! I'll be re-reading it just for that. I didn't really expect to enjoy the story, but I found it interesting. Raul seems really apathetic about his mother, and brother in the beginning too. Luis even more so. I can't believe that he didn't even try to save Caeser. I can't. Maybe it's a different culture to grow up in so I can't understand it. The Asian part was amusing- I'm Asian. Structurally, I think the story would be better with more paragraph breaks. There are a couple at the end, which seem random. It looked poetic to have the lines all parallel and even on the left at first, but it became clear that it wasn't how the story is meant to be.