Birdie - Comments

i've only had a chance to read to chapter four (i'm from the comment swap by the way!) but this is really good, definitely unique. the layout fits really well with the story, and that's surprisingly important in my opinion. the first chapter is such a good opener, it really gets your attention. good luck with your story!

So, this is for comment swap and the first thing that caught my eye was the banner and the layout, they're both gorgeous and it makes sense for the story title. This is really unique and I'll probably come back to this :) keep it up.

This came up on comment swap, and I must say, I'm glad it did! Firstly, the layout is gorgeous, I really do love it! The idea of magic and the suchlike being real has always fascinated me, so I'm hooked, haha! It almost reminds me of a grown-up version of the fairytales I used to read when I was younger, which is a massive plus. Uncle Edwin seemed quite pompous at first (the whole 'Master Edwin will see you now' thing made him seem quite pretentious), but he seems like a brilliant character, and I'm already intrigued by Skye.

I've only had a chance to read the first chapter so far, but I will certainly be reading on. Please continue, this is fabulous! :)

This is so very interesting. It's just really.. unique. I haven't seen a story like it on here before. I'm so glad that comment swap brought me here! I think I need to subscribe now! Haha. I love your way of writing.

this was very interesting and you have a unique way at writing, which leaves me very intruiged and wanting to read more! its very different than a lot of other things i've read on here, as well, which makes it all that much better :-)

Wow, I'm pretty intrigued with this story. I love how different it is from other stories I've read. I think your writing style suits the story very well and I like your descriptions. Subscribed. (:

Sorry if this is a double post. My computer started doing something weird and I had to paste it again. I'll just add that I look forward to reading more and am anxious to find out what's going to happen to her!

Wow, I'm pretty intrigued with this story. I love how different it is from other stories I've read. I think your writing style suits the story very well and I like your descriptions. Subscribed. (:

This story is just perfect! The description is perfect and the grammar is spot on! Very great job and I can't wait to see what you do next. :) keep up the great work! I this is probably the best story I've read so far, and I'm glad I got this on comment swap. Please update!

This story is just perfect! The description is perfect and the grammar is spot on! Very great job and I can't wait to see what you do next. :) keep up the great work!

The story has a great opening and the words flow smoothly, it‘s a very unique storyline and your writing is just amazing and descriptive. I’m curious as to what’s going to happen! Very well done, you have a talented way of writing, and I look forward to reading more.

First of all, the layout is awesome. I love it. I wish I could make such pretty layouts.

The writing was something that you sometimes don't even get in published books. It was superb and I just thought the whole things was fantastic. I don't know what to say because I'm not sure on how you can improve on this. You are talented. That's all I can really say...

What a weird coincidence, I was going to read this and then I got it in the comment swap deal. :D

First off, I really love the layout. It's extremely pretty. Your characters are very unique (as is the entire story, in general). I've never come across something quite like this so I commend you on that. One random thing, as I read the description of Uncle Edwin's house, I wished so badly to live in a place like that! You described it very well. You describe everything very well, actually. I think this is a story that a lot of people would be interested in and I'll be reccing it others, as well as subbing! And like sugoi said, I love the names and the only typo I noticed was the one they mentioned.

One question: Are you considering publishing this in the future? Because I think it's totally worthy and would do well!

Anyway, keep up the great work!

Even though I only have time to read Chapter 1 and comment for the comment swap, I already think this story is beautiful; everything you’ve described so far has painted a magical world, and I will definitely come back to add more. Tinsley is very intriguing, as is Uncle Edwin, the inventor. I love the way you worded how Skye is, at first, misled about what her Uncle Edwin is thinking. I do have to say that Uncle Edwin reminds me a bit of Hephaestus from Greek mythology, though he doesn’t have a wife. I think the reason for their similarity in my head would be that they both love tinkering and inventing, and of course, I’ve always pictured Hephaestus with curly hair.

I typed this all out in Word so I could tell you how many words and characters there are. The number of words is 158, and the number of characters without spaces is 695.

First of all, I really like the theme. The colours blend well together and even before reading it gave a lot to the impression of the story. But the font was a bit too small so I had to enlarge it by a number to read it comfotably.
And I must say, already after the first chapter I was captivated. Everything is so well-done that it kept me wanting for more and I found myself lost in the story. The characters are good, I also like the surroundings and the overall idea. + the descriptions which are well brought out and illustrate the story. It’s not just action after action, it’s something deeper which always makes the story more appealing.
And then I blanked out until the last chapter (because of how good it was) and my only comment would be that I’m definitely subscribing! ^^

First off, the layout and the picture are gorgeous! It makes the story very pleasant to read. Fantasy or futuristic pieces are usually not my interests; however, I was very intrigued by the world you created! I liked how you did not reveal everything at once, but in each paragraph the reader found out a little bit more about what was going on usually ending in a nice cliffhanger. There is something about your writing which has such a nice flow and is very easy to follow. Keep up the good work! (:

Please understand that I write my comments as I read.

Layout: I love the background and banner that you chose. They’re both very feminine and girly. This is one of the prettiest layouts I’ve seen.

Summary: I think that you chose a good quote to start out with; it really gets the reader thinking. I even read it a few times over myself. The summary sounds very interesting, it certainly doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever read before. Now, being a fan of Holly Black, when you mentioned a romance with a faery boy, I knew that I was going to thoroughly enjoy this.

Story: First off, I want to say that I love all the names you’ve come up with, for the characters and places, everything. They’re so unique and beautiful. It’s also hard to write in first person without the sentences seeming choppy and lacking in description and emotion, according to half the stories I’ve read so far. But you aren’t lacking in either. I was captured immediately by how lonely she sounds admitting that she has nothing left. I love the descriptions, you don’t exaggerate or use to little. It’s just enough to allow me to picture it all in my mind as I’m reading.

It’s hard to find a story on Mibba that is entirely original and entirely well written. You should publish this once you finish writing it.

Grammar: I only found one typo. ” There isn't even a ceiling to cover my or my driver, Jackson's, head.”

(subscribe/reccomend)

I am in love with the layout. It's simply beautiful. You are an amazing author on top of that. The descriptions of everything is phenomenal. I do quite love this story, even though it isn't exactly my cup of tea. I've never been into the faery thing. But please, keep writing(: Since I started this amazing story, I've got to finish it, so please do!(:

This is definitely something new to read, it's completely different to all the other trends on Mibba and I love it! Can't wait until you update again!

Just by the summary, you can tell somewhat of this fictional story. It immediately attracts attention and gets the readers - like me - curious as to what will happen in the story.

Chapter one:

This sentence sounds very awkward when you read it, "There isn't even a ceiling to cover my or my driver, Jackson's, head" I suggest you go back and rewrite it perhaps?

All in all, this was a great intro. I fell in love with Jackson and Uncle Edwin is a mysterious character.

You have a couple grammer mistakes which can be fixed with a quick proofread.

Chapter two:

This was just perfect. Every little detail you had put in was something that I could see in front of my eyes.

I adored the last sentence as well "He's insane"

Chapter three:

I love the way you describe Anastas. The name is amazing too, just like Tinsley. Goodness, I emailed myself all the chapters and continue to read them at school. It's almost as if I'm reading a story book, with very few errors that need to be fixed for publishing.

I fell in love with the dream Skye had. The imagery you use is beautiful. I love it.

Chapter four:

Well Pierre is a bucket of sunshine, now is he not? His character threw me off, but I guess I will continue to read to find out.

Any who, your grammer and spelling mistakes continue to exist in the following chapters, but it seems as if there are not that many as before.

Chapter five:

Tinsley is a beautiful character. It's amazing to find a friend like her and at this moment Skye truly needs her. I think you portrayed Tinsley's character very well.

"Mechmals" what a brillant name and the idea of it is fabulous. Best way to end the chapter was by letting Skye have the bird.

Chapter six:

I think you have everything you need to continue to make this a perfect story. It was a pleasure reading this

Make sure to proofread and although the chapters are legnthy, they give enough detail and imagery every writer should use. You are offically one of my favorite authors.

Good job and good luck!

Well for starters, this is phenomenal. You're an extremely talented writer. The description of everything from the characters to the settings and surroundings, is all just amazing. I think the plot of the story is really creative and unique. I've read a few other stories that were set in the future, but this is one of the best I've seen. It's just marvelous. There's honestly nothing other to say than that.
Oh, and the layout is utterly beautiful :)