East Avenue - Comments

This story is so beautiful. I love protagonists who are damaged, or different; I love seeing through the eyes of a "freak" and Garrett really captivates me. Your descriptions are great and I can't fault your characters. The only criticism I would have is that it's sometimes hard to tell how much time has elapsed between chapters, but it's nothing that really matters once you get into the story.

I have no idea how you came up with the idea for this story, but it's brilliant in an odd sort of way. The concept is very interesting, I've never read anything like your story before, which is hard to say to any other type of story. I agree with the comment below me about the length of the chapters. They were short, but it was a perfect amount. Some things are good in small doses. Keep up the writing. This could go many places :)

This story is very interesting. I was surprised with how short the chapters were, but when I read it, it did no injustice. Your story was quite enjoyable, keep up the good work.

Although I would like to see more imagery. Just more of a sense to the characters environment. In some chapters it's obvious, others not so much.

(ignore that last comment. It was too short for comment swap. sorry)

This story is very interesting. I was surprised with how short the chapters were, but when I read it, it did no injustice. Your story was quite enjoyable, keep up the good work.

Hey, I'm from comment swap. I didn't really know what to expect from the outside look of the story but I was pleasantly surprised. I really do like how short the chapters are. Garrett's attitude toward people reminds me of Patrick Bateman's in American Psycho. He's very particular. This was awesome. Keep it going. :)

I just don't even know what to say. I couldn’t help but grin because she was so ugly and Joey and I weren’t at all. I loved that part. It amused me to no end. :D. The story is amazing and just perfect. Haha I loved it!

i never know what to comment when i read anything you write because dollars to donuts it sounds good in my head but then i type and i cry because everything you write it perfect and i can't fully comment on how perfect it is without repeating perfect like a hundred times
I couldn’t help but grin because she was so ugly and Joey and I weren’t at all. oh god why are you so wonderful please tell me i must know tell me your secrets ^_^

*Comment Swap Here*

I enjoy how your chapters are so short and right to the point. With most stories chapters are so long and make your tired but with this story I can finish reading like 5 or 6 chapters in not even 15 minutes but still I can understand what is going on. I haven't finished reading this yet but I will. I enjoy reading original fictions better then reading fan fictions because they're always the same (that was me about 3 months ago)*SUBSCRIBED* The layout fits this story as well it's plain which makes you think more about the story and not so much the layout or being distracted by crazy colors.

This is ... really different, like I'm sure you've heard. The chapters are short and sweet and to the point, capturing only one single thought at a time, not daring to focus on more. I like that, that's unique and I love unique. I like how Garrett is repulsed by everything and so self-involved. It's kind of humorous in that way and the way that he, himself, can only take on one thought at a time, it seems. He's just so focused on one thing and then the next.

I really liked this, and I enjoyed the style and that it's unique in its own way. Keep it up (:

Well, that was really different. It's the first story I've come across to which is written like that and I can honestly say I liked it.

That was a nice and fresh start. Your characters are brought up really well. Your story is really great so keep it up and don't make me wait too long for another chapter of your interesing
imagination.

I can't wait to see where you take this. :)

oh my gosh, first thing i see when i log on to mibba is that you updated this and i was like no fucking way so of course i read it right away and ahhh it was so good. it seriously just flipped the entire story and the character of garrett upside down but in a good way. i'm like dying to know where you're gonna take this and i can't wait for chapter eleven to be posted. i'm sure it'll be just as much worth the wait as chapter ten was.

my favorite was the opening line: "The more I thought about Joey, the more I felt he was a missed opportunity." ugh, perfection. <3

I'm so happy you're updating again! east avenue is probably my favourite story of yours so far

I find this story a bit confusing, but not in an entirely bad way. I think it's because of the simplicity of it, which I do like the style of.

I think Garrett is an interesting character. I especially like the fact that he is repulsed by nearly everything. Keep it up!

this has always been my favorite out of all your work. i just think it showcases your obvious talent at the very best and i can't tell you how many times i've read and re-read this story over and over as creepy as that sounds. gahhh it's just so fucking original and i love the short chapters and how the characters are all fleshed-out in so few words. it's just brilliant. it's one of those things where i get pissed when i read it because i'm like, "fuck! i wish i thought of that!" or "fuck! i wish i wrote like that!" i really hope you continue this story because it is just fab.

Okay... Okay. I can't know how to begin, because I love this. But it confuses me. It's super captivating though so I will continue to read, and I can't wait for your hiatus to be over. I don't like Margaret though. Joey and Garrett are my buddies, and I feel like Margaret is going to try to take Joey away. Glad Garrett isn't going to use Joey anymore though.

Joey is beyond adorable! I'm not sure how he tolerates a person like Garrett, who is definitely special in his own way.... Their relationship is very unique, not your conventional slash.
Layout, love it. Simplicity at its finest and it just complements the style of writing as well. The chapters are short and sweet but you still get a lot of character development. Subscribing.

I love this story. The kind of stream of consciousness writing is wonderful and Garrett is so perfectly vile and human and baffling. It's obvious by the most recent chapter that he does care for Joey in his own very messed up way. I'm somewhat eager to get a bit more character development of Margaret. All of the characters seem intriguing and flawed. It's really wonderful. Can I ask why it's on hiatus?

The only change I might make is the very first sentence of the first chapter. It needs to be tweaked in some way--even just make it, "There is a guy next to me on the bus". It is just sort of hard to read the way it is. If I wasn't sent here by comment swap I probably would have clicked away--I'm very glad I didn't.
In the same vein, you may want to add a summary. People rarely read things when they don't know what they're about.

I'm really left wondering just where you intend to take this; at first I was concerned the lack of length in the chapters would leave me... Well, wanting, feeling like something was missing or not given perhaps. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that even with how small they were you really made it work. Not many people can make something so concise be so effective or intriguing.

I don't know how I feel about Garrett, but there is a disorder of sorts there, correct? He's certainly an interesting one. Margaret seems to be looking out for joey due to his problem and seemingly intentionally comes off a bit bitter and cruel. Regardless, all of these characters are highly enjoyable. Their flaws make them so. Best of luck with this!

I am so in love with this story. The short chapters, the sparse dialogue, the narration, everything, honestly. I love your writing style. The characters are all really well rounded and interesting without being described in depth, you do a lot of showing and not telling which is key to great writing.

I'm so captivated by the storyline. I like how you broke up the writing into smaller chapters-- it makes it easy to read. The writing is so fabulous and you have done a wonderful job compiling the smaller details. I will definitely continue to read this, so please update soon!