This piece is definitely something, I must say. I got this from Mibba's comment swap feature, but with so little options, I didn't know what to expect; mostly, I wanted an emotional piece. I think I got one. While there are several things that could be corrected and added in this story, I really felt the sad vibe that it gave off when talking about the memories and the thickness of her voice as she sat in the garden.
The emotion is so important, so to outline that, I'll give you a few tips regarding some of the flaws of the story. I do think that a custom layout would be fantastic to go with this, because it would really help the atmosphere of Leanne's garden and the memories it contains. You might want to look over your grammar a little bit, but there's nothing noticeable--I'm just a Grammar nazi at heart. xD Also, you may want to add some adjectives here and there to describe the garden and the animals--as well as the fact that I didn't figure out what the animals actually were.
While there are several things that could be corrected and added in this story, I really felt the sad vibe that it gave off when talking about the memories and the thickness of her voice as she sat in the garden.
The emotion is so important, so to outline that, I'll give you a few tips regarding some of the flaws of the story. I do think that a custom layout would be fantastic to go with this, because it would really help the atmosphere of Leanne's garden and the memories it contains. You might want to look over your grammar a little bit, but there's nothing noticeable--I'm just a Grammar nazi at heart. xD Also, you may want to add some adjectives here and there to describe the garden and the animals--as well as the fact that I didn't figure out what the animals actually were.
Just some suggestions! :)