Asphodel - Comments

  • wx12

    wx12 (10125)

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    This story is awesome. You have just made the most excellent decisions when it comes to your word choice. It really creates an almost eerie mood, and reflects a setting from the past, but it doesn't sound dated or too dense to read through.
    February 21st, 2012 at 03:23am
  • xSincerelyMe

    xSincerelyMe (100)

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    I think the layout could stand to be a little more mysterious, because it would truly add to the appeal. I'm in love with your description, it seems to be so true-to-life for your characters, and it's beautiful. The diction is very fitting, too. I've never seen a story written like this. The names, the setting, everything in this us just absolutely spot on and wonderful. Also, as the above says, it's very haunting. All of this is haunting, and it's romantic in a way. It makes you swoon over the fact that this is just honest literature. I love the part about the music enchanting the dead, and the fact that he's thinking Hades played a trick. That whole paragraph just truly takes you all the way into the mind of your narrator. Then you truly hold us there, and go out with this... I can't say bang because it's so subtle, but so clever. It really leaves you waiting. I love it.
    February 19th, 2012 at 08:32am
  • archipelago.

    archipelago. (100)

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    This is beautifully written. It's a brilliant tale of their story.
    Your description is perfect - especially towards the end when Orpheus turns to see Eurydice. The way you describe Eurydice's appearance is haunting.
    Plus, the murky layout seems to reflect the tone and the fate of the characters.
    February 18th, 2012 at 09:39pm