May 4th, 2016 at 06:13pm
From Comment Swap :)
I was really surprised by this story. When I first started reading it, to be honest I was like, oh no, not another boring boy likes girl romance and at first I couldn’t really connect to you’re main character Nina, I was also a bit iffy about her smoking, I don’t really like main characters that smoke, it doesn’t really show their tough, it just gives of the message that its okay to smoke, when it defiantly isn’t. However, apart from the smoking, as I surprised myself by really getting into the story. Josh and Nina are actually quite cute together and I felt something when Nina practically shoved Josh out of the house. They’re both very likeable and you have a very neat and sweet story line. I really enjoyed this story, keep it up :)
First off, a few mistakes (2) that i noticed were in chapter one, Sydney, Australia needs to have a comma and as well as Elmbridge, England and in chapter three, littleyellow dress needs to have a space between 'little' and 'dress' but other than that it's fine.
I like the gradual buildup of the relationshipa with the characters but I wish there was more about Nina's past before she moved and more of her likes and dislikes. I also would like to see you describe her outfits and physical apperance instead of link them!