Colour - Comments

Nice light fiction, although I did find "uummmmm" and "yea" slightly irritating and too text-speak-y. >_<

Comment swap! I'm so glad that finally mibba give me some band fiction that I like. I personally love Josh Franceschi and this story. It's really good, a few grammar error but everything is perfect!! (: and maybe it's a bit cliche? Some people would just throw it away if they found something similar like other stories, I know I would, but any other else is perfect. I like the layout too!

@ holli.sullivan.sykes
hey thanks for the comment i honestly dont notice that i use 'uuummmm' often, but now that you mention it im going to go have a look see if i can edit some of them out hahah so thank you. and yea ill update again by the end of the week hopefully.

I love Josh Franceschi. So much! This story is good, but I feel like you use "Uuummmmmm" waaaay too much. I don't know, maybe it's just me. Lol It just seemed a little repetitive after a while, so I started noticing it more and more.

But I'm glad Nina and Josh are finally hitting it off! The part when they kissed was so sweet :)

I really like this story a lot, and I'm subscribed, so I can't wait for you to post another chapter! Hope it's soon! Happy writing!

Okay, I've never actually read a Josh Franceschi story before to be honest. But this is really good. I loved how you were able to keep the mystery about Nina's past secret for so long. I love it so far, and update soon :)

It's so Cliche, which is what makes it more amazing, I agree with the comment beneath and reckon you need to include both more dialogue and more description. I enjoyed reading it and think it's cute in a way. I enjoyed reading it so far so I decided to subscribe, I hope you take my comment in to account and keep writing because I do think your plot was a good idea, a bit common but you made it unique somehow and I do genuinely like it.

Also I hope the whole 'Ready To Go' thing was a reference to Panic! At The Disco, and if it is, I will love you even more!

The beginning starts off really cliche, the whole 'new girl in the country/school/whatever' beginning, I mean. Which isn't to say it's bad, because it's nice. You're a great writer, I can tell that you've taken time with your craft and considered what you want happening.

I also find it so refreshing that you didn't start off with dialogue, and pour dialogue throughout the story. So that's definitely a plus. Conversely, however,you seemed to use the dialogue to rush the end of the story. It feels very quick paced and the next thing I know it's the end of chapter one.

I'd suggest adding just a bit more descriptive breaks in between the dialogues, just for good measure.

On a scale of 1-10, I give this a solid 10. :)

This story is nicely written, though I feel like yin some places you should slow down and linger a bit. Like with dialog, try to stretch out the conversation as much as you can. Honestly, it's something I struggle with as well, and luckily I have seen much much worse. This is still a great story, and is still very well written! Keep up the great work!

The ever-wonderful comment swap brought be here! I thought your summary was interesting enough, but you don't explicitly mention that this is a fanfiction, so, not being familiar with the name Josh Franceschi, I had no idea it was. I like the plot, though there are a few cliches, and your grammar could use some tweaking, but all in all, it's good :)

So, I'll be commenting on the first two chapters for the comment swap, yeah?

First off, that's a lovely banner. I can't stop staring at the graphics, trying to figure out which image to focus on first - the sneakers, the ballet shoe or the hands. I know it's not much but I keep looking at it for some reason. The colour combinations you have going on mesh pretty well.

I'm going to be honest. I have no idea whether this is a fan fiction, or an original fiction because I don't know whether Josh Franceschi is an actual person or not. But whatever, it's seems to be kicking off to a good start.

I like your characterization of Nina. The fact that she smokes, something you include right in the beginning, makes her kind of easier to like, I guess. I don't smoke, but it's nice to see some characters have habits that I see around myself every other day. Makes her more ... realistic? Making Josh "a little chubby" makes him more likeable too.

The bit that I didn't like was where she tries to be the school wallflower - 'cause it seems as if that's an aspect way too many writers try to use with their characters. But I haven't read past the second chapter so I won't judge on how this would work out for Nina, and you.

There are some typos, "piece" should be "peace" in the first chapter, and some grammatical errors - places where the commas, and periods are interchanged - but overall, this seems like a good piece. You're a good writer.

And yes, I find myself staring at your banner yet again.

Comment Swapper ^_^

I've never read anything with Josh in it before, but this really seems interesting. It's really original as well. I love Nina and how she's got that whole backstory and then Josh and it's just... GAH. AMAZING. There's just a few minor grammar and spelling errors, but it's not that big of a problem. Awesome story.

Comment swap

This is a really cool idea for a story. I never read a josh story before and I'm not sure where his from so I read it like an original story. I would just check some of the grammar a little... I understand I sometime have problems with that too in my own stories...

nice story over all.

Hey I'm here because of Comment Swap I'm glad it sent me to your story! I'm going to recommend, I think this is a really neat idea for a story, I really do hope you keep this up, I think it's a really good story so far! Well done!

[Comment Swap]
I like your layout with the blue and pink, to start :)
Few things - there's a lot of commas missing in your writing, but that isn't too big of a deal. Your spelling seems good (no complaint there) . In my personal opinion, though, I feel like you're zipping right through the story. I think it's a bit of a cliche in some parts, but I still enjoy it. The summary was interesting, too.

Make sure you check up on commas and periods and try to use them a bit :)

Thanks !

Okay so all of a sudden I seem to be finding Josh story's, which I'm perfectly fine with, because let's face it who doesn't love Josh. Im not gunna comment on your grammar because I'm shit at it and I would probably go off and tell you about my day or some shit like that... It happens more often then you think.
I'm kinda random so I like to write a lode of shit, I hope i make you laught, because your smile makes me smile... She random, I don't even know what you look like.
Okay I should probably stop ranting.
Right so your story is GREAT! I love Max even if he is a bit of a nob in this (he's my favouret), I love how all the girls want Josh but Josh wants Nina.... Whooped.
Ol'righty then, keep up the good work, update soon and if you have time check out my story's... Cus you love me... Yeah sorry about that, like a said random.

Hey, i'm from comment swap. I was kind of excited while reading the summary, i've never read a ymas fanfic before. However, this story is full of spelling and grammar mistakes! The plot is great, but i really think you need a beta. If you're interested, i could be your beta. The stories i'd been a beta for are all finished and i have a lot of free time. Get back to me, this story has a lot of potential.

Comment swap brought me here. I love Josh Franceschi! This story though, is full of spelling and grammatical mistakes. Periods and commas are your friends. There could definitely be more detail as I feel you're speeding through this. It's a bit cliche, but that's just a personal opinion.

I came across this story via comment swap, and I'm glad I did. I'm only on chapter three, but I really like this story. I like how the summary pulled me in and made me want to read it. I like the layout as well, it's simple and easy to read. I really find this story cute and funny and I just aljdhsa love it. I love how Nina doesn't swoon over Josh and all that and then josh saved her and it was just like akdhfslaf sdlsdhf cute. can't wait for an update c:

Only got to chapter 4, but I can tell there's something there.

"“Like take off your colours…take off the façade, the mask I don’t know,” I was rambling, “Who are you wearing it for.” He let out a sly smile and a shrug of his shoulders."

I loved that. It pretty much sums up the feelings I get while reading this - that everyone is hiding something.

(No, that wasn't deep. And I'm probably the only one [not] thinking that)

x

The layout is nice and simple, I like it that way. The story was very well written, full of detail and description. The summary pulled me in right away, curious about the rest of the story, which did not disappoint. The story flows very nicely and the chapters are good lengths. Overall, it's an awesome story! Keep up the great work!