Colour - Comments

I am so beyond happy that Comment Swap brought me here. Ugh, this is such a beautiful story. Oh, but you HAD to stop it with their kiss. I am so conflicted right now. Please update or I will definitely die of withdrawal.

On the critiquing side of it, there's a few spelling and grammar mistakes you should look over before you post but other than that, flawless.

I don't know who Josh is, so please don't be offended by my ignorance. Anyways I appreciate how smooth your dialogue seems to flow. Its like you literally wrote down some overheard conversations, they feel that natural. It really helps, placing characterization into your work.

And another thing I liked about the story, which is something quite a few people do actually, is that you posted links from characters and what they wear so the audience can visually see what their individual style is. And that I find also helps in characterization majorly. But the devotion that it takes, when all you have to do is just sit down, write a chapter and be done with it, to take the extra time and put together a character's wardrobe is simply amazing.

I enjoyed this so fucking much! I loved the story. I loved the way you portrayed Josh. I loved Nina. I loved everything. Only problems I have? A few grammatical and spelling errors (but don't freak out, I'm a grammar ninja, which is like a grammar Nazi ... Only better). And the other thing? It ended JUST as it was getting good!!!! Only one way to fix that. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*. Hop to, woman!

I really enjoyed reading this. I didn't know who Josh Franceschi was when I began reading, but I feel like that doesn't matter. You use great detail, which I love! A story without good detail is terribly boring. I love it, love it, love it. Keep up the good work! :)

comment swap;
I'm not familiar with the band that Josh is from, but reading this I felt I really didn't have to know who he was. Nina, I feel is completely relatable, so that makes it not a bore. :) One thing to watch is not stretch out the Umm's. Those don't need to be too long. I did catch a few spelling/grammar mistakes, but those creep up on us every now and then, but other than that you did a great job! :)

Perfect once again :)

I read every single word of this! I really, really enjoyed it - the plot and story line is representative of something *I* would write and it's nice to have that familiarity when I read. :) You Me At Six are one of my favourite bands and you write Josh's character so well; very true to life. I can relate to Nina a lot, so that also helps when understanding her point of view!

I do agree with some of the previous comments with reference to the spelling/grammar and though the mistakes are minimal, I think having a beta or just someone to proof read before you post would be really helpful. Or, if you're ever feeling unmotivated, perhaps a co-write would work better for you? Unless of course, you're entirely happy on your own!

Either way, I am really looking forward to the next update! xx

Hey im a comment swapper :) i like that you have posted links to the characters because its easy and accesible for the people that may want to picture your version of the girl. Also you are a very talented writer but because i dont really like Josh or his band i found it really hard to get into it but that was not your fault.

I really enjoy this. The last two comments were a bit harsh, but I guess had good intentions. I'm just waiting to know what happened back in Australia. Grr.

The layout for this is awful. I'm sorry but the colors are mismatched and it actually hurts my eyes. You should think about changing it up maybe. And the summary is slightly cliched.

Your opening chapter is alright, I guess. But there are a few grammatical errors; I agree with i saw sparks, a beta could really help you out.

But overall, you're a good little writer. And this is coming from a non-You Me At Six fan. Yup!

First off, this is totally trivial, but I have to admit that I don't like the links to character pictures in the summary. That's what the character page is for.

Moving on to the actual content of the story, I did notice quite a few grammatical errors which did detract from my reading of the piece. A beta could definitely help you with that, so it's nothing that can't be fixed. I really enjoyed the dialogue and interactions between the characters, and I thought that overall, this was a cute fic.

I really really really like this!!! You have an excellent writing style and from what I could tell the story has a really good plot. :) deffently keep it up!!

Keep writing!!

Not a fan of this band or fandom, but judging by the first few parts. You've done well so far. Your character development is great and so is the plot development. your use of proper grammar and correct spelling make this a nice, easy read. If I were into this band or Josh, I'd probably love this story :)

Not a big fan of these characters but I like how your portrayed them. Very interesting. You are an amazing writer. Obviously I was brought here by comment swap but I'm glad it did. I enjoyed it very much.

The summary really dragged me in to read on with the story. It made me so curious as to what Josh would do. Reading on showed me you're a great writer so always continue to write. I also felt like I could relate to the main character. I love when I can do that. Keep up the good work!!

Also, I like how you've made them in high school and I really think this story has potential to be really good if you add more details or go into her past about why she acts the way she does. Josh is such a great person even though he came to her drunk.

Comment swap took me to this story. I really like it so far.(: I'm a big fan of You Me At Six and this story is just very well written. I'm very glad to read this.

X.x.Dani.Phantom.x.X

Comment swap brought me here! All in all, I think that you are an amazing writer and I really like this story. I like the characters you have in it as well. You seem to describe how they're feeling extremely well which I like. The plot is amazing as well so its not boring at all. Keep up the good work!

Not that familiar with the fandom but I really really like this. The layout is simple yet effective as well as being pretty to look at. I like the title and banner as well and your write style is very flowing and easy to understand.

I like this, it's well written and I like your spelling and grammar usage.
The layout, in a way matches the story, which is another plus for me, of coarse.
I really look forward to more and I hope you keep it going.

Xoxo, Neon.