Glass - Comments

The title instantly caught my attention, but I have to admit that the layout instantly counteracted any interest I had in that. Mostly because of the black background with white text, I have a pretty large dislike of situations like that.

I do like your summary, it seems somewhat interesting, but doesn't give me much idea on what the story is completely about. The paragraphs don't have much space in between them, I recommend putting extra space in between the paragraphs, it just makes it a bit easier to read.

The story itself is pretty awesome. I really don't have much to say on that. The amount of detail is excellent and really emotional. I think you should continue into making it a longer story.

This is pretty crazy. But in a good way.
The flash backs need to be divided a bit better, just for the convenience of the reader (cause we're all picky peoples like that)
Otherwise i really enjoyed it. Little dark but in a needed way to get the range of emotions desired.
Overall very entrapping and addicting read.
wouldnt mind wanting to know what happened even after this

This is really deep. I got confused for a nano second when you started the flashback, but honestly it’s not that big of a deal. Very strong chapter, and great job with emotions and beginning. Keep up the great writing!

yeah there should be a space or divider to separate the flash back. The story goes pretty deep and like it. You have very good detail and I feel so bad for Reagan and her girlfriend! You should really turn this into a longer story. It has potential to be a good long story but makes an excellent short story. Good job! :)

I'm Christian, my last name is O'Connor, and I'm not a lesbian. But okay, moving on.

It's kind of difficult to tell that Reagan is telling David a story in flashbacks, maybe some italics or some indication of breaks would be helful there. But wow, the story overall was powerful. And I thought you ended it perfectly. Good job, my friend. xx

This was so emotional! I couldn’t stop reading - i just wanted to know what had happened.
I think there could have been some spaces in between paragraphs, and maybe the flashbacks could be in italics or something like that to make them stand out. But other than that, it was all written really well and flowed nicely, which made it easy to read. And the fact that there wasn’t any spelling/grammar mistakes helped :) There was a good amount of description, though I think you could have made it even better by doing a bit more detail about the party.
But all in all, it was a good story with an emotional plot and it was definitely worth reading :)

Oh, wow...I'm kind of left speechless after that. You wrote this pretty well! The emotion was clearly there and the pain...I could feel it. Although, while I may not have cried, this did bring tears to my eyes. Especially with the fact that things like this happen in real life. It's so real and raw, filled with pain and despair.

There are a few things I think that could be improved. A little more detail might have been nice, like describing what sort of motions and anxiety (possibly) relievers she might have been doing while talking to the therapist (that was who she was talking to, correct?) such as playing with her shirt, ect...

Also! Remember to put spaces between paragraphs and dialogue. It should be like this:

"I-I'm sorry...I didn't..."

"No, you did; you really did."

She looked away, turning her eyes toward a fading photograph hung on the wall.

...and such. It makes it easier to read that way. :)

Otherwise the plot was really good, and the characters seemed like they could be real! Great job!

um, I like the story. I dont usually read femmeslash anything because I'm really not a fan at all. I write slash stories but there's usually something about femmeslash that just throws me off. I like the whole story though to be honest but I feel like if she was so set on her parents finding out and then when they did she was kicked out that there should've been a lot more emotion involved. if your mom just kicked you out and disowned you, you wouldnt go oh well she's just ignorant. maybe she'd even take back the agreement to go to the party until she was forced to go. also, when talking about the past it's best to put it in italics or separate it from the rest of the story somehow so that people know that it is the past not the present. anyways though, I enjoyed the plot.

You might have, I lost some comments and stuff in the crash. And also, thanks! That means a lot, and I'm SO glad I captured that :)

I feel like I already commented on this story..? Well in case I haven't I love this story, its sad, and a bit more serious than I usually like, but it kinda throws some light on what happens to gays and lesbians everyday. A fact we have to live with, and be careful about.