Man vs Hero - Comments

This. Is. Amazing.

Lokiiii, right? amirite? Just kidding.
I'm off to read the sequel now. This is good - like others have said, I love that you kept Steve in character and basically just realistic. Fuck, I'd be bitter too if I woke up some number of years later and lost everything.

Oh dude, I love it. I love that you kept Captain so in character. I don't think you nailed Tony's witty retorts as much BUT you still did a nice job. I love your writing style and the flirtatious tone of the whole story. I'm wondering if this is after the Avengers movie though since Steve obviously didn't say those things before lol. But yes, me love, me reading the next one now.

Reviewing the last chapter separately seeing as it is not part of the contest entry . . . .
Absolutely breathtaking description in this chapter!
Favorite line:
And that formidable, yet intoxicating scent of frozen mint which now engulfed the apartment wasn't foreign to her.
Just the whole sentence is wonderful to me. It's a perfect line.
And I'm with Vengenz, I think it's Loki.

Summary and Layout:
I really like the summary that you have written. I think my favorite thing about it is the fact that you also set it up lovely for someone who has no idea who Captain America is. I feel neutral about the layout. It's nice but I think there could be . . . more to it. But colors are nice, it's easy to read and there are no distractions.

Chapter One:

Errors:

. . . . must all ways do what was right.
always

This place were Heroes were common law.
where Heroes?

Thoughts:

I really enjoyed the entire chapter. Your description of Steve is amazing, I think you did a wonderful job at getting his emotions across about coming into a new world. I'm not really a fan of the chapter being centered, but I enjoyed it so much that I kind of just forgot about it. I like the fact that you continued writing it being able to be read by people who aren't familiar with Captain America. A lot of different one liners tugged at my heart strings, lines like “America lost their hero”.

My favorite paragraph in this chapter would be:

Steve's attitude suited the black and white world of the 1940's, when times were dark and the world was united by a common threat. Though the threat was great, the world was simple, less complicated and obstructive than it would become in later years. Just as the time that had passed before the great wars.

Something about that paragraph is just so . . . perfect.

Chapter Two:

Errors:

Black Leather? Yes.
Form fitting? Yes.
Revealing? Well Cat won on that front.

or

Black Leather, yes.
Form fitting, yes.
Revealing, well Cat won on that front.

Thoughts:

Love, love, love the fact that you added Tony even in a small way! Couldn't stop smiling at his interaction with Felecia. Once again you are very consistent with people who are not familiar with the fandom could read this and not be lost. I would personally enjoy reading this more if the spacing of the paragraphs and separate sentences were more consistent.

Steve's heart sank. Another fan. He really wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with people.
"Glad I could help."

Steve's heart sank. Another fan. He really wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with people.

"Glad I could help."

Just a tad detail that makes a difference.

Favorite part in this chapter:

Though her landing was like rainfall on moss . . . .

Absolutely love this line! Small thing that stuck with me.

I stumbled across your profile by accident and fell in love (hellloo catwoman) but when I skittered on over to your stories I had no idea that I would find this gem and what a gem it is. Your voice for Steve is just so perfect and clear, I'm waiting to turn around and find him punching the bag in the corner of my room and Felicia ...ugh, she's always been my secret crush but nobody has ever been to do her justice; until now. Doll, you have made me one happy camper. More than happy, I am ecstatic.

This is so wonderful, so fabulous even if the ending killed me. I'm dying to place my finger on Loki but I'm probably wrong and someone else surprised her, I know it wasn't Steve because that just isn't him, he's too nice. I'm off for a smoke and a ponder ...no promises I won't come back and gush some more another time.

xox

I literally screamed out "BLACK CAT FUCK YES!" when she showed up. Perfect! Absolutely perfect!
I have no idea how you do it, but everything you write sucks me in. It's beautiful! Your writing is amazing and so descriptive. And the characters, so perfect! You're just awesome!
This was perfect! I absolutely adored it!
And for the life of me I can't put my finger on who surprised Felicia. I always have problems with remembering people. I'll figure it out in the middle of something important I'm doing and I'll have to come back and tell you haha

So here I am trolling the recently updated and posted stories and here I see that you have written this. AND I WAS SO EXCITED!
This was absolutely fantastic! Beautiful! Have I told you that your writing style is fantastic and you are my favorite author on here? Of course I have! Because it's true!
I am super excited to read this. It's going to be amazing!

If you ever write about the Red Skull, notify me!! I love that guy!! He's so BA. Plus, I love the Cap's story. I just watched Caption America last night :D