October 27th, 2014 at 01:54pm
“Because you don’t know where that hand was last…”
Priceless!
“We’re doing what I want to do. Deal?” he asks.
I can only imagine what they're going to do.
I'm honestly torn between Eric and that guy, even though I'm not the one who's going to pick, LOL.
Chapter 25:
I like how you started the chapter by continuing from the previous one and showing us that people can have more sides than one. It's something that many people forget, not just in stories but real life too, so it was nice to see it in your story.
"Paint?" I ask, watching him go through all the brands, types, and colours.
"I didn't know you were an Artsy Fartsy."
Since she is the one speaking again, there is no need for spacing. Just put the sentences beside each other (the ones mentioned above).
That was a short chapter but the mystery exists, why did he want paint? What is he going to paint since he's not that type of person? Someone else needs that stuff or is he planning something? Excited to know.
Chapter 26:
I enjoyed the imagery behind this chapter. I could totally picture the boy and the girl painting graffiti on the wall while thinking of nothing else. The ending shows that both of them knew where it would lead, that's why they stopped it at that. propably thinking it was too soon or something of that sort. It was fitting.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!!!
I will divide my comments into sections so you can know what I'm talking about. Be proud, because there aren't many authors on here that make me like their work as much to give them a chapter by chapter review like yours. 
Chapter 27:
Seriously now, who is Kile texting with so much?
I think you should have ended the chapter instead of using symbols to move to another scene. These could be two different chapters.
And look where he left me.
I can honestly imagine our narrator thinking about the bittersweet memories Dylan left her with and the realization of that.
Moving on to the second section of your chapter,
I laugh. That seemed like Dani. If she could get her hands on booze, she’d drink it. She loved to drink. And she loved to get drunk. She didn’t care what she did when she was drunk. She just didn’t care, period.
This paragraph gives us a good view on Dani's character. Most people would be jealous thinking about how that person acts, yet they skip the part of what's hidden behind that drunk face that wants more and more alcohol. Life isn't good to all of us.
You could have ended another chapter when Dylan showed up, ending at Dylan would make the readers eager to read the next chapter.
So, the two of them become friends? That's gonna be interesting to read about. What I didn't get was why she seemed afraid instead of just awkward. Was it because she was drunk? I wonder.
Thank you very much for mentioning me in your note. I wasn't expecting that so it made me smile. Thank you!
Chapter 28:
Dani is going for beers again, my heart is seriously crying for this girl.
I didn't see that coming either, Dani and Eric but even though it was unexpected, it was nice.
Oh, Dylan and Mattie are dancing. Next one please.
Chapter 29:
“Are you insane?!” I exclaim.
I would have seriously said the same.
Whose house did she went to??????? I wanna know! *eager*
I liked the idea of the haunted house and the game they were playing but why was she alone? No one there for her and her mind is travelling to sad thoughts and memories.
Chapter 30:
I really liked this chapter, I enjoyed the feelings between the new formed couple as I'd like to think, and the way you ended the chapter ~ thinking back to the game, and running, laughing... Perfect!
-Maria.