Through the Window - Comments

Hello, this is for comment swap, though you may not read it (been 3 years since the last comment). I really enjoy the writing style and the brevity that you've captured in the chapters, it adds suspense and urgency to the pacing. I honestly find Chase insufferable, but depending on your intentions, that may be a testament to your writing ability. He reminds me of a character from a Brett Easton Ellis novel, naturally, I also find his characters insufferable, but that does not take away from his evident writing ability nor does my distaste for Chase reflect negatively on your writing ability.

This is a remarkable story, and it really spoke to me on multiple levels. I can relate to Chase in a lot of ways; I don't go to college, and I feel like everyone else around me is moving forward but I'm just stuck. I feel as though I've known Chase for years or like he's the voice inside my head. You're an outstanding writer and I hope you never give that up.

Wow, you are a remarkable writer. I love how each chapter is short and to the point, you don't dwell on the necessary and unimportant details which in some stories I think would be a true problem, but with your piece, it is perfect. I feel like I already can relate to Chase and I feel as if he is a real person, just like me. This story is excellent and I can't wait to see where you take it!

This is simple in its essence, but remarkably beautiful and well-written. I adore how you write – you’re poetic without getting bogged down in flowery language, and man, I find myself relating more to Chase than I’d like to admit. Chase and Kinsey are really well-thought out and well-rounded as characters, and I’m really looking forward to reading more of this, even though I know it’s gonna be a rocky road for Chase. I’m hoping he gets out okay at least. Anyways, keep up the awesome work! :D

*Comment Swap*

What a great story!

I really enjoyed the writing, it was descriptive and drew me in immediately. The way you have chaptered the story is excellent. It's a nice pace to Chase's thoughts, and I'm keen to see how he progresses. The layout was nice and simple, and doesn't throw me off. It's perfect for what you have written.

Great work!

My heart just dropped into my stomach when I thought he stepped off the ledge out the window, and then I found out in the NEXT CHAPTER that he'd stepped back into the room. Well done. I truly love how this is written; you've created a really strong character in Chase, and I feel like I understand him on a real level, and I already don't want anything to happen to him. I'm curious to see what exactly his relationship with Kinsey is, or will become, and I just want to keep reading. Great, great job!

There is an atmosphere to this story that I purely enjoyyed. Please continue to write, as I really loved the structure and thought behind some of the chapters, even though they could be better :)

Beautiful writing!

I'm curious to see where you take this. Subscribed. :)

I'm intrigued. Update again soon?

hey, so i really like this so far it would be nice to have you chapters a little longer just to be able to ad a little more detail. but they are really well written and you have an interesting plot forming. good luck.

Comment Swap:

I love the layout, and the title. <3

I actually love this, I love the concept and the writing style and I'm def. subbing.

I love this. I thought this was going to be cliche and crap, but I love this. The suicide concept is really interesting too, and I love how relatable your characters are.

I'll admit that I forgot about this story, and that annoys me, because it is so brilliantly written. You have a lot of talent and I hope that many, many other people get to read your work.
"It means you're going to chase me down forever." - I just went from loving your story to being in love with it. It's cute and the characters are very, very well formed.

As for your latest update, and more specifically the authors note, it's not my favourite chapter but the tone is still fitting and it's not off at all. This story is continuously great. Not a story that I'm letting get left behind... again.

Very good story! I was scared there for a second then relieved when he didn't die! It's a great story line, nicely thought out and written. Hopefully he can find something to do with himself after all, because sexy people deserve to do sexy things with their lives :D Subscribed and Recommended, coming back for more!

YAY! I'm happy he didn't die. I wonder where this story will go from here. Maybe he will find something worth living for? Maybe he will find that he can do extraordinary things unlike most people (as he says in the story). This is a really great story and I can't wait to hear more about Kinsey and Chase!

Comment Swap - I liked it. The last chapter made me think Chase is a bit conceited. The stereotypical popularity of high school. But I loved how well the characters were written, and the beginning of it was intense. Honestly great writing! Keep it up! Def, not your typical story.

Ah, the element of surprise.
I'm going to be completely honest.
I read the summary and though 'Well fuck my life, here comes another 20 chapter book about how ridiculously horrible and unrealistic some poor kid's life is.' Ya know, the typical emo, hate on the world story.
Where he/she hates everyone but for some fucked up reason everyone still falls in love with him/her. :L
But nooo!
Noooo!
You take me completely by surprise with you shiver inducing endings and your relateable characters and your amazing discriptions...
I'm pleasantly surprised...

Ah, the element of surprise.
I'm going to be completely honest.
I read the summary and though 'Well fuck my life, here comes another 20 chapter book about how ridiculously horrible and unrealistic some poor kid's life is.' Ya know, the typical emo, hate on the world story.
Where he/she hates everyone but for some fucked up reason everyone still falls in love with him/her. :L
But nooo!
Noooo!
You take me completely by surprise with you shiver inducing endings and your relateable characters and your amazing discriptions...
I'm pleasantly surprised...

I like the layout, it's lovely and clear and that's more than I can say about most other layouts on this site.

First chapter, suicide chapter. I find it a little difficult to believe that Chase just stops because of that bit. I really don't want to bring my own attempt into this, but people will shout anything to make you come down, and you won't believe them. Also, you don't want to come back down now that you're that far. It would be embarrassing, humiliating etc. I just find it slightly unrealistic. Nevertheless, not all people are the same and it is an effective start.

For chapter two that beginning is very eye catching, it's a nice contrast to the last chapter and I like it. However, again I find the content a little unrealistic. Now, don't get me wrong, 'popular people' do have feelings too, I just can not comprehend them being nice people. It might be different where you are, but where I am they are hellish to everyone and eachother.I just don't know man.

Chapter three; a little cheesey? Not what I was really expecting from this story at all. "It means you're going to chase me down forever." Just does not sound like what I've read of this story already, I feel like I've accidentally stepped into Twilight or something. I guess it may have been my own expectation, since I usually read quite angsty/ nostalgic stories and not romance at all, but it just doesn't feel right.

Well, I'm only reading up to chapter three because I can not deal with heterosexual romance, otherwise I'd be reading on forever because you are seriously an amazing writer. Punctuation and grammar are practically flawless, writing style is steady and it's an all around good story. Except, of course, for these reality gaps, but I suppose they could be put down to each person experiencing different things. You have a lot of potential and I hope you keep writing in the future, adios <3

I read the summary and my initial thought was Oh lord, here's another emo story. And then you surprised me. And then I continued to read, more and more. This wasn't what I thought it would be, and I love it.

His logic on committing suicide actually struck a nerve in me. I get that. I get what he's saying. I understand the biting nothing, and that makes this story that much better. Chase is relatable, no matter the gender and it very much ups the appeal of your story.

I can't wait to read more of this. I couldn't find any nit-picky flaws or anything. Punctuation, grammar, and all of that seems to be rather well settled here. Best of luck with this!!

First off, I clicked this and saw the layout and instantly was like, "Ooooh, damn. This is gonna be good." And you kept good to that word. I loved this, I did. I read all four chapters wanted to express the happiness I feel for Comment Swap. ^^

The ending of chapter two gave me shivers, the last paragraph. I love the development of the characters and how it happens instantly. This is great, you should know. Keep it up, my fellow writer. Carry on. ^^