Superman - Comments

I’m here as the new judge for the ‘10 Ways To…’ contest.

I thought this was a really cute story, and I really liked the formatting of it being like letters to Lance. It made it sweeter and more personal. I especially loved that the last chapter mirrored the first one, as unhappy as I was that Zoe didn’t get her happy ending. I had a feeling that she wouldn’t with how Lance led her friends on and then asked Zoe to help him confess to Jasmine. It was actually really frustrating that he also led Zoe on? It wasn’t just Zoe’s friends but her, too. He swung between being flirty and implying towards something to acting like she basically didn’t exist. It was so, so frustrating and I ended up being upset that Zoe never saw the problem with how he strung her along. Especially when he went crawling back to Zoe with (what I assume were) Jasmine’s flowers when she rejected him. Ughguhgh.

There was one point where I think you broke the flow and it was in chapter fifteen. All the chapters were written like letters to Lance, so whenever Zoe referred to him, it was as ‘you’ but in chapter fifteen, you actually wrote Lance. I feel like since all the chapters are supposed to be letters to Lance, that shouldn’t have happened. Unless I misunderstanding what you were aiming for.

All in all, I did think that was a cute story! You captured a lot of emotions and the drama was addictive. I really liked it.

Okay, I just couldn't stop reading this. It was so good. I didn't anticipate how amazing this was going to be. Your grammar was perfect but it was the idea that made me fall in love. I have to say that you make this really easy to relate to and it is so adorable. There is nothing I would change. Only to keep up this amazing work and never change a thing. Recommending!

Beautiful writing style. The story was captivating, but I feel like it ended too quickly.

I love this. I mean, I just love everything about it. Your characters are perfect. I was only going to read the first three chapters but I just couldn't stop myself from being drawn in by the story. It's so well-written, I mean honestly, this is probably my favorite story on Mibba. Everything about it, from the layout to the writing style fits so effortlessly.

I'm sorry it took me so long to read this. Thank you for asking in my Candybowl, I'm so glad I got the chance to read this!!!

Hi! I just finished reading this and oh. my. god. At times, it's probably the cutest thing ever. At others, I just want to kill some of the characters. Like, at first it was Jasmine, and then it was Lance, who I just completely do not understand - why would he do that to Zoe when she's, like, a perfectly great person who loves him? Argh!

Also, I love the layout of this story. It's so cute! Especially with the banner of a little Superman. And also, even though your story wasn't the most descriptive, I really liked it that way because it allowed me (as a reader) to really feel something. I'm not sure what it is, but it's kind of like what the Mibbian below me wrote. Anyway, here is your Kinder. :-) I'm off to write the Kinder for your other story.

This was a beautifully written story, and it made my heart ache in Zoe's favor. I know how it feels when a guy acts as if they like you, but then, they are with another girl. I thought this was a lovely written story, and I love that you used Superman and Lois Lane. It didn't make me cry, and I wasn't sure it was, but it did make me feel a strong emotion. Your writing is lovely, and I didn't find any grammatical mistakes which is great as well.

Thanks for joining my contest and good luck!

My lord. I came here to give you promised Twix bar and read chapter one, and fuark I'm gonna keep reading. I'm on five and it's great. Short chapters, are good, very good. Sub rec and thy promised Twix.

This was such a lovely story!

Aww :) this is too adorable! But it's also realistic, and I like that alot! So far I've read most of the way through and I think it's such a lovely little story! Your characters are easy to relate to, and I love the way it's written as a letter. So unique :) Oh and your layout is super cute :) well done!

I really love this. Not only is it adorable, but her words are so heartfelt. I find it interesting the way you decided to write this as a sort of letter. I'm really enjoying it and look forward to reading more. :)

I have to say, that when I first started reading this for comment swap, I was a little iffy, not quite sure that this would be my type of story. By the time I got to chapter 7, I've been reading in my living room for 30 minutes, and I was on the brink of tears. Your chapters aren't very long, but you put a lot of emotion into them, and you make the reader feel what the character is feeling. In that retrospect, I think you're doing a fantastic job!

Do you know how much I fucking love this story? I read this in all of fifteen minutes, then I went back and read it all over again. I have to agree with the other comments about how Zoe should (sort of?) break Lance's heart, but then fall in love with him all over again....yeah... I'm blathering. Anyway. Sequel, po?

Oh, and I meant to point the ending out:
'Though it may seem cheesy and I know you rejected me and all, but I don't really want you to be my Superman.
I just want you to be my man.'
Favorite part of the whole story. Bar-none. Even if it was kind of cliche. So cute. That also made it a sad ending. :(

Aw, that was kind of a sad ending. :(
What is Lance's problem? Why would he just avoid her like that and shun her out? I mean, really. He broke her heart by not responding right away, but he just continued to let it rip apart by just avoiding her all of that time. What's his deal?
Great job with the installment, though. I'm excited for the sequel! :)
Can't wait to see what you have in store for it. :)

I came that close to crying. That close.

But then I read the word sequel and I didn't. Because there's going to be a sequel, right? Right?

Lance sucks. He should fall in love with her quick. Zoe should move to the states and turn into a prissy rich girl kinda girl. Then Lance will love her and his heart will be broken because she doesn't love him back anymore because you know, she's all awesome and stuff now. What am I saying?

They should just fall in love. With each other. At the same time. The end.

It is both: sad and a good ending. I don't know. I like it when girls realize that they have to move on if there is no chance. :)

The end?! I think its gonna have a really sad ending. Like they will stay friends forever because boys are stupid and he will never realize how much he means to her... I'm hoping for the best though! :)

And he will think she means it as friends. She will Heartbroken and end. :/

It's not going to end well. It's not. It's just...

:( I don't want it to end. lol

Aww this is cute. I can't wait for the end!
This really happened to you, he seems like he loved you all long and just couldn't tell.