Leaving Earth - Comments

The plot sounds freakishly similar to "Across the Universe" by Beth Revis. Are you sure you haven't read that story before?

*for

Wow. This story...wow. I've never seen anything like it. It's amazing. Amazing. This may be the best story I've ever read on Mibba. I would never say anything like that, especially on the first chapter. I hate first chapters. But, wow. I found a few other typos, different from the ones passion paradox mentioned. But, other than that, it was brilliant. I would almost beg fro you to continue as quickly as possible.

Summary: The summer was really interesting. I haven't read a lot of science fiction, and I kind of like the idea of traveling through space. Plus, it kind of reminds me of Star Ocean- not the plot or anything, but about all this technology and such. It's exciting :D

There was only one typo in the summary:

Colette was born into a war-ravanged earth… - I think it's "ravaged?"

But that was really all. Over all, I think this is a good summary. Informative like a summary should be.

Chapter One:
This was over all an interesting read. Informative, but entertaining. It's only the first chapter, so I don't know the protagonist too well. However, I'm sure she'll develop a voice in the later chapters :) I think it's cool that I, not knowing a lot of these things - I mean, I can't even fathom space travel, let alone think up a plot like this - was able to understand through your descriptions. I could picture it in my head like a movie. It was cool! Plus, the concept of a ravaged, post-war Earth intrigues me.

There were a few typos here and there, but they weren't big:

This all happened when I was only five years old… - I think you can delete "only" as the first part of the sentence contains, "This all". But it might just be a stylistic issue or me lol

When I first heard of traveling to this ‘new earth’, this planet ‘Nueva Vida’ as it was dubbed. My parents never wanted to travel to the new planet.. - I feel like the first sentence is a bit awkward since you started it with a "When", so I feel like it would flow better if an explanation preceded it this sentence? It leaves me a "what about it?"

but seeing that there was barely nothing left for them on this earth - This might be another stylistic issue, but I think it's "anything".

they finally decided to leave when I was at the still young age of 20. - Just a typo-ish thing. Maybe "when I was only 20" would work? Or something like that.

nor did we know what to except, - Just a typo.

despite having an Food Tube in his arm.- typo: "an"- "a"

Over all, this was well written and entertaining, even if it's only the first chapter. Good job!

sweet write more!

I may be young, but I read A LOT. I have NEVER come across something like this. THe plot, it's amazing. Waking up alone; *been there done that* Waking up alone in outer space; *Sits up* Waking up alone in outer space and falling in love with someone you can't talk to for a year *Puts on reading glasses* Amazing! I'll be honest, half the stufff on mibba I don't like, not becuase of the quality, just the genere. This is amazing! I would say, it's perfect. I would say I have to wait for later chapters untill I give my critism. Subscribed!

I had to read this as soon as I read the short description :D this a totally new story line that I've never heard or read before :) this is something really new for me, and I would definitely want to continue reading this..... please update soon cause I'm already excited XD