The Darkness - Comments

Hello there. :) Well let's get started, shall we? XD I was brought here from comment swap. You have a bunch of mistakes, there are spelling and grammar mistakes. I know it's hard writing all this from your ipod but you better correct this using a computer. I like the basic idea of this and it seems really interesting but all these mistakes take away from the story. I agree with the comment below too. That's all. Keep on writing and get better at it like all of us. Xd

I noticed quite a few errors, starting with the summary. The summary itself (grammar aside) is interesting. It makes me want to read the story. But, because there are no punctuation marks, the sentences just run together and it makes it hard to sort out. Also, there are capitalization errors.

"when fayline decides..." should be "When Fayline decides...."

The first chapter is also interesting as far as content goes. Right off the bat you can tell that Fayline and Rose have a unique bond. There are capitalization problems and issues with the spacing between paragraphs or dialogue.

In the summary, it said that she has a secret - that she's not a witch at all. In the very first chapter you revealed the secret to what she is. I think it would've been cool to have the chapter open with her waking up to the evidence that she'd done something wrong - going into detail with her fear and remorse and panic instead of skimming over it. That's just a suggestion, though.

Aside from the punctuation and capitalizing, I honestly think this story would turn out good. Please don't take this review personally, because I honestly do like your story and would like to see where it goes (: