Camp Redwood - Comments

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First off, I love this layout. Right now I'm just reading the first chapter but I'll be coming back to read more!

The title alone is interesting, and I do like the summary being quotes from that person. The reader gets a real feel for who the characters are before even meeting them. There does seem to be quite a few characters, however.

The premise of a camp for addicts is really interesting and something I haven't yet seen, so I do like that. I'm very intrigued as to why Kalliope says everyone thinks she's crazy.

I'm not sure why Kalliope warms up to Forrest so quickly and shuts down Keegan immediately, but until I read more I'm chalking it up to just being a teenager. I suppose she thinks he's a creep, but to me, the catcalling seems like a way to break the ice.

I do relate to Kalliope, in that she's already annoyed by Aubrey. I probably would be too.

The interaction between the group was very fast paced, and I was a little confused at who was speaking at times, but I liked it, how Kalliope was getting bombarded with questions and taunts. I was half-expecting her to admit to a sexual assault of some kind. I do like the group dynamic, though. I am DEFINITELY interested in why Sebastian was there in the first place before becoming a counselor.

I really like this story so far and I can't wait to read more!

Directed here from comment swap!

First off, I love this layout. Right now I'm just reading the first chapter but I'll be coming back to read more!

The title alone is interesting, and I do like the summary being quotes from that person. The reader gets a real feel for who the characters are before even meeting them. There does seem to be quite a few characters, however.

The premise of a camp for addicts is really interesting and something I haven't yet seen, so I do like that. I'm very intrigued as to why Kalliope says everyone thinks she's crazy.

I'm not sure why Kalliope warms up to Forrest so quickly and shuts down Keegan immediately, but until I read more I'm chalking it up to just being a teenager. I suppose she thinks he's a creep, but to me, the catcalling seems like a way to break the ice.

I do relate to Kalliope, in that she's already annoyed by Aubrey. I probably would be too.

The interaction between the group was very fast paced, and I was a little confused at who was speaking at times, but I liked it, how Kalliope was getting bombarded with questions and taunts. I was half-expecting her to admit to a sexual assault of some kind. I do like the group dynamic, though. I am DEFINITELY interested in why Sebastian was there in the first place before becoming a counselor.

I really like this story so far and I can't wait to read more!

Hello there :) I got sent here from comment swap. :)

I'm sorry but I honestly couldn't read this story due to the fact that the writing is so small and I can't read something that small otherwise I get a headache and have to stop reading. So i'll just comment on your layout.

I love the layout. It seems to fit the story just with the title, like I said earlier I can't read text that small so I strongly reccomend that you increase text size :)

Other than that everything is fabulous
~Sam

First of all I'd like to say I like the layout you've chosen, but I do have one complaint and it comes from my experience in web design. For a story that has chapters as long as yours, your readers would benefit from a slightly larger font size. The tiny font you've chosen makes it incredibly hard on the eyes and is a pain for people to read in large chunks.

Having only had the time to read one chapter of your story, I find myself immediately disliking Kalliope. Perhaps that was your intention, so that the character may grow on us throughout the story? She seems to be a typical teenage girl, sullen and moody, until she finds a cute boy to melt over. You've written the mentality of a teenager perfectly, which certainly shone through when Kalliope thought to herself "I have a bigger problem than they all do and it’s not something I can talk about so candidly like everyone else. I’m not trying to be dramatic, I just don’t want to talk about it." The 'my problems are worse than everyone else's but I'm not trying to be dramatic, it's just true' is spot on! Well done on that front.

More so when she becomes defensive and attempts to justify why she shouldn't have to announce what she's addicted to. It's a natural feeling to want to keep it to yourself, but I would have liked to see you go into more detail on her feelings about why she was getting defensive, instead of just a long passage of plain dialogue that makes her sound more like a brat than someone who fears admitting what her problems are.

Over all I think you have a good writing style, and this story could go far with your continued investment!

This is the first story that I have actually taken the time to read since my return to Mibba. I normally go for the dark tales with scandalous plots, but your first few chapters really enticed me to read further. It was nice to read a story that took place in present tense, and for the most part, you kept that tense fluent throughout each chapter. I like how on the summary page the quotes that represent each character are clever and give great insight into their personality. But it leaves it a mystery as to what the story is actually about and therefore may not grip future readers. I first through this story was about addiction, but with the sudden and constant flings and fights I am left to wonder what is the actual focus of this piece?

I'm normally not good at picking up grammar and spelling errors, but I did find two. In Chapter One, you wrote: I look at my map and try to navigate my way though. I think you meant to say "through." Also, I was confused by this sentence in Chapter Nine: …mostly because is d43 was ridiculous and funny…". What is the "d43" for? Was that an error or am I misreading the sentence?

My last few comments are very minor. I really like the name Kalliope. It is very unique. How did you come up with it? Second, the dialect that you have assigned to each character really makes them stand out. Lastly, this story is very relatable. I recently helped a friend through heroine withdrawals. It was so heartbreaking to what what he had to go through, to hear how he talked about the way his skin felt each day.

I definitely think that you have a great story here. It is written in a more mature manner than a lot of what is currently on Mibba. It just needs some clarity, and it might also need to be slowed down, unless you are going for a novella feel.

OK first I'd like to say that I love your layout, it gets me in the tone of the story, so far I've only read the first chapter and while I usually don't like stories set in the real world I have to say I love it so far. The main character kind of reminds me of Aislinn Got from Wicked Lovely in a way (Which is my favorite book series by the way) And Forrest oddly somehow reminds me of Seth Morgan, also from Wicked Lovely so far at least. I also have to say I knew instantly that tje blonde was crazy, at least I assume she is because she's just way too happy lol.

NICE LAYOUT! It fits the story well, which is perfectly spaced and well written. You found the ultimate mesh of layout, spacing, dialog, and the story itself. Just seems right. The characters have personality which is great, and it seems to smoothly run to the next chapter (like a book) Nothing seems forced, so keep it that way! Also, would suggest you throw a curve ball at the readers. Put a huge twist in this and they will anxiously check their emails for an update to your story. When people are enthralled enough, they look at stories on here like books. Yours is shaped up to be one of those. Keep using comment swap also, great way to get this near masterpiece out there.

Hello here :) That's a pretty good story you have here and the layout fits the story perfectly. The descriptions are pretty good and the characters are well developed. The only thing which you have to change is give titles to your chapters that match them and at the start of every chaptes write which person's pov we are reading. Keep up the great work and share your imagination with me and your fans. XD

I am really enjoying the story so far. The layout is nice. The writing is nice. I really do love it. Buuuut, with every good comes a little bad, right? On to the criticism. The only real problems I can see is firstly, it is really annoying to keep having to go back to the stories overview to see who it is I am reading about. Maybe try putting their names somewhere above the story so that readers do not have to do that. Another thing is you have a few grammatical and spelling errors but not very many. Overall it is a great story. Definitely not something I am used to reading, but it will be worth finishing! =)

To start, I must commend you on your layout! It's clean and crisp, easy to read and is eye catching without being distracting.

I really like how this story is going, at first I was slightly confused with all the different perspectives. But as I read on it because easier to understand. I think, also that you have a fantastic story line that keeps the reader hooked and wanting more! Keep it up!

Keegan and Lupe are so cute. I absolutely adore them as a couple and I'm not afraid to say that it's mostly because of Lupe. For some reason, I really get her. She's my favourite, and Forrest is my least favourite. So that's an update from me about the latest updates.

I really don't like Lupe, or how she seems to think she deserves better than being a second choice after she pretty much caused the break up between Forrest and Kalliope- she just irritates me. I'd much prefer it if Keegan were to like someone of a nicer nature, but he does kind of bring out the best in her, even if she is stubborn when it comes to realising he really does like her.

I really do love the story though, and your writing technique is perfect. I'd have to say my favourite character is Keegan, but my favourite relationship is Aubrey and Sebastian, they're just adorable.

Oh the two of them are so cute in their own way! I love this. Wait, I've already said that 300 times.

Oh, my baby, Keegan. He's so adorable! He's my favorite. I adore him. Seriously, I love him so much. I ship Kupe. All day long.

Oh Keegan. And I'm glad he and Forrest are sorta tolerating each other. I love this. I really do. It's unique and updates from this make my day.

I feel a bit like a crazy stalker with my steady stream of comments. But...aww! Forrest and Kalliope were kind of my least favourite characters until this chapter. I'm such a sap. Loving the update guys.

First off, I love the layout. So simple, but so beautiful at the same time. And randomly, I love the font too. It's cute... Haha.

I love the way it's all written, and I have to thank you so much for grasping the concept of grammar as well as spelling. You have no idea how many people here don't have the same skills. Absolutely brilliant!

this has a really nice layout. I love the feel of this story and all of the different characters. It is is written quite nicely. Over all it is lovely and I really enjoyed reading it. I love how you really bring out the characters in your story. it is absolutely beautiful. I think every body should read this, especially teenagers but even adults too! Every body could find a connection to this story in some wort of way :) I'm comment swap has brought me to it. Have a wonderful day.

I have to say that this story is absolutely brilliant. I adore the plot, it’s definitely not something I’ve had the pleasure of stumbling upon yet. I believe a story like this could surely help spread awareness of some of the internal struggles and realities that teenagers have to face. Not all teenagers of course, but those with serious issues that believe they must face these difficulties alone. In a way this shows those teenagers with internal struggles/addictions that it’s okay to seek help. Despite what it may seem sometimes there are peers out there who may not know entirely how you feel but fight problems of their own. I also enjoyed the first person point of view writing style. I think as the story progresses the writing style will prove to be an advantage. As each teenager’s summer camp experience unfolds the reader will be able to experience the character’s emotions as they are. Over all, I enjoyed the story so far and the dynamic characters. It is always a breath of fresh air to read a well written and creative original story. I’ll definitely be subscribing and recommending this story. I also enjoy the layout. Keep up the good work. I’ll anxiously await an update. :]

Oh, now, this is absolutely beautiful. First of all, the layout is gorgeous. Absolutely perfect, and it adds all of this emotion to the story waaay before I clicked the first chapter link. Your details are fantastic, and you really know how to make your characters come alive. I know I wasn't as good a writer you are when I was fifteen. You have to keep up the good work. It would be a crime for people not to read your stories.