Camp Redwood - Comments

Starting with the summary, I love how all the different characters have different quotes that give a little insight in to how their characters are going to be. I also think the names selected are very unique and refreshing. Now on to the story, Kalliope is a very interesting girl. I love the relationship she has with her Aunt – it kind of reminds me of my aunt when she fusses with her hair and face. I like that a lot of things about Kalliope was packed into that one chapter, like how she loves big crowds because it makes her feel invisible.

From what I saw in Kalliope and Keegan’s chapter, I actually like Aubrey; she’s really bubbly and definitely makes the story a bit brighter. It’s kind of sad that Kalliope blew her off. Aubrey seems like a sweet girl – no pun intended haha. I really like the writing style and I think the storytelling in the different point of views was executed very well. Great work!

I’ve never read a story with that much point of views so it was refreshing to read. Keep up the great writing! I really enjoyed reading about the different characters and their problems. It’s a very interesting story and I’ve never seen anything like it. Very original and exceptional!

Very good story! I'm not usually big on stories written in the present tense, but I really enjoyed it!

I definitely agree with harlot. There is a lot going on at once, but it does seem interesting. I think that your characters are a little wacky, but it's a good kind. Not all people are drab or just normal. I respect that. The first chapter was a bit lengthy for me, but your descriptions were very good! I wish for you to continue writing this though! I believe it will become a great story! Keep writing!! :)

Oh my, this is a very interesting story and I am proud to have stumbled upon it through the 'Comment Swap' thing. It is fantastically written and I love the idea of a camp for addictions because I normally love anything that has to do with the brain and how it works. Aha, but yeah, keep on writing and good luck with this story.

-Greg.

Oh goodness, this seems incredibly interesting. And like a perfect story for summer. Though I do have to agree with the others about seven POVs being overwhelming and I think at some point I will be lost but it won't be that big of a deal because I do enjoy your writing. And I do agree that some of the characters are a little spazzy, as Zeed mentioned. But I think that that just adds into the fact that everyone at this camp is crazy, so it works. I do like this a lot already! I cannot wait to read more and I shall be subscribing.

Whoa, Seven characters all at once ;-; I'm scared. I read George R.R. Martains "A song of ice and fire" back and fourth and this still overwhelms me, I say it's a good start... though... lets... Hm.. how do put this, I don't want to Offend you... lets slow it down... I like some of the characters... (I won't name them) but some are like "Spazz tastic" So... I don't know what you'll get from me. it's a good start to a great start, I suppose. But Many many characters.

I feel a little bit...overwhelmed. Usually stories are interpreted with one point of view or two point of views but never more than that. you're using...7?
plus I think seven characters are a lot to just bring in at random. sometimes characters have their way of sliding and easing into the story, not just being thrown in. over the chapters they join the story maybe, but not right away. there's exceptions to that, but I was just a but overwhelmed. don't get me wrong, you're a very good writer and I enjoy your technique! I'd like to see where this story may go..although I feel like sometimes the words you use don't properly match with the sentence.

I feel a little bit...overwhelmed. Usually stories are interpreted with one point of view or two point of views but never more than that. you're using...7?
plus I think seven characters are a lot to just bring in at random. sometimes characters have their way of sliding and easing into the story, not just being thrown in. over the chapters they join the story maybe, but not right away. there's exceptions to that, but I was just a but overwhelmed. don't get me wrong, you're a very good writer and I enjoy your technique!

Summery and Chapter 1:

I don’t think it makes a person strong by ignoring their problems. Facing them straight on is the strong way. So I think Keegan is on the right path. Plus, Keegan, that is the name of my son (when I have kids—love that name! though I think I like Keagan better for spelling—though it’s not as common)

I’ve also been a great fan of sugar and chocolate—I’ve also never had a cavity. And, to be honest I don’t brush as much as I should.

Sebastian—I’ve been called weird so many times, I think that I am the real only normal person out there some days.

I like Kalliope’s saying.

Forrest, terrible way to live your life. How about, “Life’s like a box of chocolates!” LOL

:O Kalliope is rude to her aunty! I would never act that way to my family! I never even get to see them. Lol

There is a sentence that starts, “There are small little nightstands next to the beds…” I don’t really care for the redundancy of small and little.

I hate Jello too!! I like chocolate pudding, rarely tho.

What are uppers?

“I have a bigger problem than they all do and it’s not something I can talk about so candidly like everyone else. I’m not trying to be dramatic; I just don’t want to talk about it.” –I liked this sentence. I like your word usage.

After reading the first chapter, I’m sorry to say I don’t care for it. It’s not you or your writing style. It’s just; it’s not my favorite genre. And I really am not into the “druggie, drinking, self-harming” stories. I’m sure I would have been more interested and got lost in your story if I wasn’t in a room full of loud people. Lol. I might read the next chapter when there are less people in the room.

Oh, and I found this story through mibba story comment swap. Maybe you will read my story in return? Hope you like sci-fi’s. I’m into the non-real-fantasy world. It’s a lot different from yours. lol

Your layout is perfect, it is clean and easy to read, oh and everything compliments each other. I do like how you have quoted your characters on the summary page and used pictures I always like to know what the characters look like on mibba. Personally, I am not a major fan of original fiction but the idea you have appears to be interesting. What is also great is that your chapters are lengthy, something always desired by readers. Great going.

Keegan may very well be one of my favorite characters just because of how nice he was to Aubrey in the beginning (who really does seem like a powerpuff girl, bubbles to be specific ) and I'm pretty sure I'll be shipping Keegan and Aubrey. Aubrey's so cute! The way she's so innocent is so cute and it's a great contrast to most of the other characters that are focused in the camp. An addiction is an addiction, even if it's something like sugar. but anyways;

KEEGAN+AUBREY, YEA!

I still love your story.

I love this. It's a great story. I like the plot and everything. The characters are well built, guys. Bee and whomever else is doing this, great job. I really enjoy Kalliope's character. I love the unique names as well.

Keep it up.

This is awesome.
And I love the therapist's last name. (Reminds me of Lights. =])

Jessica Sula is just so beautiful, man. I've been meaning to watch Skins or at least something but I've been so out of time :/

I'm really liking it so far! I like all the diversity and I can't wait to see what twists and turns you'll add into this ;)

I'm starting to love this story and I can't wait for more so I hope this updates soon :D

I really like this story (:
I can tell it's going to be really great!

Oh, goodness me, that was beautiful Bee.

So, she's a cutter. And that's why she was dressed like an Eskimo.
Lupe can just shove it okay.
Keegan, just - no.
Aubrey's cute as a button! Though she reminds me of a strung out powerpuff girl. O.o
Forrest, gosh, I already love me some Forrest.
And yeah, I don't really have much to say about Sebastian so. :p

But qrl, they're all so diverse and junk, you know.
/subscribed.

WOOH! I really like the way you started out the first chapter, and the way you ended it. Very abrupt, very hooking. I like this a lot.