July 4th, 2017 at 08:58pm
The whole story was just so sad. I thought you were going to kill off Zacky too near the end there and I was like MY POOR HEART CAN'T HANDLE ANY MORE.
I really loved the amount of emotion that was in this entire story. There was a nice range of emotions as well; even though the whole story had a sad feeling across it, in the flashbacks and through Abbey's different adventures, you really packed a whole lot of everything in every chapter. I felt like I could really relate to Zacky at the beginning, even though I haven't necessarily dealt with anything like that in my life, just from how well you wrote his emotions and thoughts. You could tell just how devastated he was, and how determined he was to go find her even though he could barely deal with everything he was feeling.
I felt so awful for Abbey. I couldn't even imagine blaming yourself for getting something like cancer, just because she chose not to keep a baby. And having to go through getting an abortion and then getting sick it just so horrible to think about. Through that, I kind of understood why she ran away. I know if I was dealing with all of that, I wouldn't know what to do and I think you wrote her spectrum of emotions and how she was dealing with them incredibly well.
Near the end when Abbey died, my heart completely broke for Zacky. I was really happy that they were together again, but having the person you love die in your arms is just, ugh. The tears. I liked that you often referred to how the other characters were dealing with the same thing Zacky and Abbey were, as well. Even though the two of them were obviously at the forefront of the story, you didn't just leave them out and make it seem like they weren't dealing with the impact of all of those events as well which I really appreciated.
I also loved the last line, about how he could sort of smell Georgia peach. It made me smile even though I just wanted to cry about everything else that had gone on.
There were a few mistakes here and there, mostly just missing words or the wrong word in different sentences, but nothing that a bit of editing couldn't fix.
Overall I think you did a wonderful job with this story. The plot was very well thought out and executed and I couldn't stop reading because I needed to know what happened, even though it broke my heart. Great job!
But you ended it in a good place, with the hint that Zacky will give life another chance.
I loved this story. I just didn't like how selfish Abbey was in leaving Zaky. I know she had her reasons but, Zaky could of had more time to be with her before she died. 
I also really liked your writing style! It was simple yet descriptive. I never had trouble picturing the image you wanted the readers to have. You were also so detailed in the emotions of everyone. I appreciated that you didn’t focus solely on how Abbey and Zacky were feeling even though they were the main characters, so to speak. I knew how the rest of the boys were feeling about everything, too. It helped me connect to everyone emotionally because I understood Zacky’s pain and Abbey’s guilt, but I also shared that concern and frustration the rest of the boys felt about the entire situation. Zacky’s coping mechanism were so unhealthy and I was so, so worried he was going to give up. Your writing style and how you focused on the details of things helped me really empathize.
You did have some spelling errors and a few words missing here and there, but nothing too major. However, I did think you used the “emerald-eyed/chocolate-eyed [noun]” descriptor a little too much. It doesn’t stand out until you sit down and read everything in one go, which I did. Repetitive descriptors and sayings stand out a lot to the readers—like more than the author—when they’re reading everything in one sitting. I would kind of recommend maybe reading over it and trying to use different adjectives to differentiate between the boys rather than ‘[color]-eyed’, you know?
Overall, this was a really well-written and heartbreaking story so good job!