you know if you would just use words like to and the and add s's and ed's where they need to be then the errors wouldn't be so bad. i really like this story but it's really difficult to read
i love this story but you should look into getting a beta the grammar is atrocious and it makes it difficult to read if i had a computer i would do it for you but sadly i only have my phone
First off, there is a lot of grammar mistakes in this. It seems you like to write like I used to write a long time ago. Instead of writing like: I jumped then turn to see Matt leaning in my doorway. He look so good just standing there like that. His big muscular arms was crossed against his chest.
Try writing like I jumped then turned to see Matt leaning in my doorway. He looked so good just standing there like that.
I'm sorry that just really bugs me but, it's your story and you're allowed to write it the way you want it. I was just giving a few pointers. If you would like anymore, feel free to message me. :)
On another note, I really like this idea as a story. It has amazing potential. <3