Being Paranormal - Comments

  • ThatFreakInTheCorner

    ThatFreakInTheCorner (105)

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    Oh wow, I may be a bit late in terms of commenting by the looks of it. But anyway, I'm loving Piper's personality! Kickass demon with cat ears, it's great! Thank you for having the lovely grammar and spelling that the internet so desperately needs, it's much appreciated. I love the concept so far, it's very original! Also, "Well, I was either dead, or I was high" made me legitimately laugh out loud. Good work!
    December 27th, 2014 at 02:58am
  • MadolcheMisu

    MadolcheMisu (150)

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    I like the personality that your character starts out with. I also appreciate that you don't have a lot of unnecessary introduction. You jump right into the story. I think it would be more inviting to read if the text wasn't in huge chunks. Especially when the text is smaller, it makes it look more intimidating especially on the internet. Also, the layout makes that even worse because it condenses all that text into one area. It's a really neat concept and I'm interested to see where it will go next. Overall, good job! I would work on your formatting and that will make a big difference in attracting readers.
    September 20th, 2014 at 07:49am
  • MissylinaRose-Sming

    MissylinaRose-Sming (100)

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    Pweedy pwease can you update this story more often babe I LOVE it !!!
    August 28th, 2012 at 05:49pm
  • TheMisdirected

    TheMisdirected (100)

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    I really like this story, I think it has great potential. I like the ideas put into it, I also like the layout it really compliments your piece of writing. I'm definitely recommending this. It's brilliant. The only problem I have is you need to put a few paragraphs into it, I hate telling people what's wrong. I don't do it often.
    July 19th, 2012 at 09:31am
  • JadeMurry

    JadeMurry (150)

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    Very nice piece of work, i just wish I was more into the supernatural.
    So nice introduction, very action packed and informal. I really like formal writing styles so again, but comment swap brought me here so I stuck it out.
    It's interesting that you chose to write a teenage story with a NC-17 rating, I know that must of eliminated mass appeal to twi-hards and other younger supernatural loving girls who only go up to a PG-13 rating.
    Anyways! Best of luck with this story and with your writing in the future. :) -Jade
    June 14th, 2012 at 08:06pm
  • JadeMurry

    JadeMurry (150)

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    Very nice piece of work, i just wish I was more into the supernatural.
    So nice introduction, very action packed and informal. I really like formal writing styles so again, but comment swap brought me here so I stuck it out.
    It's interesting that you chose to write a teenage story with a NC-17 rating, I know that must of eliminated mass appeal to twi-hards and other younger supernatural loving girls who only go up to a PG-13 rating.
    Anyways! Best of luck with this story and with your writing in the future. :) -Jade
    June 14th, 2012 at 08:06pm
  • catinabottle

    catinabottle (100)

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    I agree with Gannicus about your informal writing style. It's so much easier to read than third person, overly descriptive writing.
    It was a great introduction - your style of writing and Piper's sarcastic attitude make it very entertaining.
    One thing you could work on - something I notice most people say about my own writing - is putting a blank space between paragraphs.
    Your grammar is really good, though. You used exclamation marks when it made sense, as opposed to when you just wanted to make things interesting.

    Overall, good job. Keep writing.
    June 13th, 2012 at 05:53pm
  • Sansa Stark

    Sansa Stark (930)

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    I like your very informal writing style, it really sounds like a teenager. It reminds me of Buffy, she always talked like that, being informal and sarcastic all the time. Teenage stories is not my thing at all, much less demons (I used to like these supernatural things but nowadays it's so common that I got so tired of them) but your story I actually enjoyed. It'S Buffy meets Sabrina, has a dark twist to it even though it's a teen story. Kudos!
    June 13th, 2012 at 05:20pm